Posted by: Trish | 2009-09-18

Trouble at work

Hi Cybershrink,

I would like to ask your expert advice:
I am in a very difficult work situation at the moment, where my boss screams at me for invalid reasons infront of other colleagues quite often and overloads me with work.The screaming is mostly aimed at me as I am the boss' s local punch bag and I say this,because I never fight back when the boss screams like others do. Thus, the boss screams at me when frustrated and feels like it. I know as my boss this person is entilted to criticise, but in a respectful manner and when I have truly mucked up. I am (I know...) a perfectionist and this situation is truly distressing to me.
Could you please advise measures for me to at least control the emotional stress this is causing me.It is starting to affect my health. I know that some would say I need to grow a backbone and stand up to the boss, but at this stage I am trying to keep conflict to a minimum and do not want to provoke my boss as I cannot just quit before I have another job.

Please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If I understand you, he screams at almost everyone, but respects those who stand up to him and fight back ? Inded, he IS required to treat all staff with respect, and its a pathetic guy who can't manage to do that. COnsider seeing a CBT-style counsellor to learn to be assertive effectively ( and that's far from being aggressive ).

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