advertisement
Question
Posted by: anne | 2012/07/18

treats women in a condescending way

How do you deal with a person who you know has insecurity issues and masks these issues by being arrogant and treating people in a condescending way. He doesnt like to be challenged by women and by getting around an issue that he may not know too much about, he will call a woman an air head or attack her character. How can you handle a person like this?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Have you noticed how, often, the problem gets worse in a particular way ? When someone responds to feeling insecure by being haughty and arrogant, most people, annoyed, tend to respond by trying to take them down a peg, by even embarrassing them or humiliating them, which so often makes them feel even more insecure and then more arrogant.
Sometimes one can manage a cool form of mocking that makes them unsure but to at least register that their ways of responding are not being taken seriously. He calls X an airhead? Then one responds : "Ag, but such excellent air ! ", or one just smiles and says : "Ah, there you go again, we know you don't mean the nasty things ou say about people !" Not guaranteed to work, but worth trying.
Also, from your description, it seems he hits out like this when he feels threatened by being challenged. OK, then recognize that its not worth challenging him - not because he's right, but because he can't bear to feel in the wrong. SO its not useful to point it out, because everyone knows his limitations. Sometimes one can use his weakness, by making a suggestion based on your own knowledge, in a way that compliments him for being able to see how well this could work, and leaves him, if not understanding i, unable to come up with a good argument against it.
With such folks, if one at times has been inn conversation with them, I've tried the tactic of later saying, at a meeting : "You know, what you said last time we talked about this was so interesting, and it gave me the idea that we might do it THIS way. Thank you for helping me to see that possibility" Its awfully hard for him to refuse the compliment and go against the idea !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Garth | 2012/07/18

Maybe he has a self-esteem problem and thrives on making others look bad so that he can feel good about himself. He may feel threatened by women. How to deal with someone like that I do not know. I would personally distance myself from him.

Reply to Garth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/18

Have you noticed how, often, the problem gets worse in a particular way ? When someone responds to feeling insecure by being haughty and arrogant, most people, annoyed, tend to respond by trying to take them down a peg, by even embarrassing them or humiliating them, which so often makes them feel even more insecure and then more arrogant.
Sometimes one can manage a cool form of mocking that makes them unsure but to at least register that their ways of responding are not being taken seriously. He calls X an airhead? Then one responds : "Ag, but such excellent air ! ", or one just smiles and says : "Ah, there you go again, we know you don't mean the nasty things ou say about people !" Not guaranteed to work, but worth trying.
Also, from your description, it seems he hits out like this when he feels threatened by being challenged. OK, then recognize that its not worth challenging him - not because he's right, but because he can't bear to feel in the wrong. SO its not useful to point it out, because everyone knows his limitations. Sometimes one can use his weakness, by making a suggestion based on your own knowledge, in a way that compliments him for being able to see how well this could work, and leaves him, if not understanding i, unable to come up with a good argument against it.
With such folks, if one at times has been inn conversation with them, I've tried the tactic of later saying, at a meeting : "You know, what you said last time we talked about this was so interesting, and it gave me the idea that we might do it THIS way. Thank you for helping me to see that possibility" Its awfully hard for him to refuse the compliment and go against the idea !

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement