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Question
Posted by: urshee | 2010-02-02

trapped in a silent hell

If I had to discribe the way I feel in 1 word it would be ' Abcess'  all this muck inside me and no way of release.I have a terrible past and childhood,and I have made terrible choices that I have to live with for the rest of my life.My adoptive dad couldent keep his hands to himself so I run away from home at age 15,landed up in point rd durban,drugs robbed men looking for fun,beaten up for 5 years by boyfriend,prostituition,and much more,I cold write a book.Now Im stuck living a lie doing massage as a living,not prostitution,but still do extras,just not all the way.I am 37 have 2 kids,I lie to everyone about what I do and its really getting to me.I pray everyday that God can send me someone that can help me out of this horrific hell of lies and loniness. I' m trapped in this life and there seems to be no way out,I have to soport my kids and 2dogs.I have no education,Is there anyone out there that has any advise on what steps to take to mend my life without dirupting my kids lives.Or if anyone knows if you can go to night school to do std 8,9 and 10.So maybe I can go into nursing or something.I hate the life I live but can say 1 thing I look after my kids very well on my own,just wish i could be a better mother and do a desent job.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So sorry to hear this sad story. ekke's advice is good. I"m sure you can go to night school or some other college helping you move towards matric, and you'd have a better and stronger motivation than the other students. Sounds like you;re as good a mother as possible in your current circumstances. As ekke says, one possibility would be to add studies and courses so as to move towards the beauty industry, manicures, facials, whatever. Nursing is hard work though if one finds the rights qualifications, at least there can be some pay while studying - I don't know the current rates, but maybe no enough to support your family. I'm sure you can gradually better yourself - and ekke is right, too, to rather plan to make many smaller steps in the right direction, than maybe gamble too much on trying to make one large step all at once.
I wonder if there's someone in Dept of Education who can give counselling about the sort of coruses you may need. One has to be careful as there are some good colleges, and also some fly-by-night colleges that take youer mopney and then close down in mid-course. Good luck !

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Ekke | 2010-02-02

you have the answers, its a matter of taking action. you may want to attend ABET, adult basic education training. i would say, stick to doing massages - only until you have completed schooling or maybe equip yourself with other skills - take up a hair dressing course or doing manicures! you know, you need to take baby steps. be glad that you went past those cruel things and you came out fine, you still have your health... take heart and find your passion.

Good luck

Reply to Ekke
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-02

So sorry to hear this sad story. ekke's advice is good. I"m sure you can go to night school or some other college helping you move towards matric, and you'd have a better and stronger motivation than the other students. Sounds like you;re as good a mother as possible in your current circumstances. As ekke says, one possibility would be to add studies and courses so as to move towards the beauty industry, manicures, facials, whatever. Nursing is hard work though if one finds the rights qualifications, at least there can be some pay while studying - I don't know the current rates, but maybe no enough to support your family. I'm sure you can gradually better yourself - and ekke is right, too, to rather plan to make many smaller steps in the right direction, than maybe gamble too much on trying to make one large step all at once.
I wonder if there's someone in Dept of Education who can give counselling about the sort of coruses you may need. One has to be careful as there are some good colleges, and also some fly-by-night colleges that take youer mopney and then close down in mid-course. Good luck !

Reply to cybershrink

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