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Question
Posted by: Wife | 2011/09/20

Touch Aversion

I would like to know if something like a touch aversion exists? My husband has never been a touch person, but after years of tests and surgeries for a chronic bowel disease, he never touches me anymore. I have to initiate all physical contact, he''ll tolerate it for 10 seconds, then breaks contact. It bothers me a lot and makes me feel neglected. I''ve tried to talk to him but he doesn''t really make an effort. I don''t think he wants to hurt me, but it does. How can I change his behaviour?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some folks are touchy-feelly, and others aren't. But you sem to be complaining that he has changed. Now, after surgery for bowel disease, its not uncommon for the person to feel physically undesirable, even disgusting, and not to want others to get contaminated by the change they feel in themselves. Its probable that this behaviour which understandably bothers you, is caused by concerns within himself, and is not actually about you, though of course it may feel that way to you. COunslling, either individually for him, or for the pair of you in couples counselling, could help a lot.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/21

Some folks are touchy-feelly, and others aren't. But you sem to be complaining that he has changed. Now, after surgery for bowel disease, its not uncommon for the person to feel physically undesirable, even disgusting, and not to want others to get contaminated by the change they feel in themselves. Its probable that this behaviour which understandably bothers you, is caused by concerns within himself, and is not actually about you, though of course it may feel that way to you. COunslling, either individually for him, or for the pair of you in couples counselling, could help a lot.

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