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Question
Posted by: katie | 2010-05-03

totally distraught

My boy friend and i are going out for nearly a year even though he stay with his girl friend and children. i did not know in the beginning of them but as time goes i found out about them but still continue with the relationship as i love him.

she knew about me but somehow in the beginning did not worry as she is younger than me. till one day she saw me and he could not visit me like before just after work.

till last week my boyfriend and i had a fight in the train.

I told him that i want it to be over and then he told me very loud in front of every one in the train that i am stealing his family''s time being with him. and that i am a whore and doing sex things that his girlfriend wont do. that is why he is with me. and all very ugly things. i then when the train stopped our station got out and leave him on the station. when i was on my way to the shop he was waiting for my at my flat. i told him i dont want to see him, he said he wanted his clothes. i gave it to him, and then he start saying ugly things to me again. i was so upset that he was thinking all this ugly things about me that he said.

friday i ignore him on the station and it look as if he want to talk.

my fear is that if he talk to me i will give in to him. how can i be strong. i use to give him money and pay his bills.

did he just use me or did he maybe feel something for me. that is all the time in my mind. that maybe he did feel something for me.

when he said all the ugly things so loud of me in the train i felt like my face was burning. but is still love him, what must i do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sadly, this guy has been using you from the start - he started a dishonest relatonship with you lying ( or at least deliberately no telling you ) about his existing and continuing relationship with another woman and children - showing no respect for you or her. And now after this argument he has shown the ugly and selfish an cruel person he really is, and always has been. Don't let any of the ugly things he thinks or says hurt you - they only prove his own utter ugliness, and actually say nothing true about you.
There isn't a single reason to think that he ever had good feelings about you - it was all about him and what he could get for nothing. Recognize that there is absolutely NOTHING about this guy that deserves to be loved, especilly not deserving the love of a good person like you. Maria is right. Move on, and be thankful that you can leave this loser and cheater behind you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: KK | 2010-05-03

Katie, how old are u, i wonder what where u thinking when u go out with this guy. Wake up

Reply to KK
Posted by: XXX | 2010-05-03

I agree with Maria.Dump this guy,he is using you.Quite frankly you should not be having an affair with him anyway, as he has a partner and children.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Maria | 2010-05-03

Obviously he used you. He has a family, and he got sex and money from you? Someone who loves you will never treat you that way. And what were you thinking, having a relationship with a man that lives with the mother of his kids? Did you think he was going to leave them for you? Even if he did, he is a cheater, did you think he won''t cheat on you? Sorry girl, wake up and smell the roses. Be thankful that you didn''t get pregnant with this guy and move on with your life. Spend time with friends, get involved in new activities, stay busy with positive things and forget about this loser. And next time, make sure your boyfriend is single.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-03

Sadly, this guy has been using you from the start - he started a dishonest relatonship with you lying ( or at least deliberately no telling you ) about his existing and continuing relationship with another woman and children - showing no respect for you or her. And now after this argument he has shown the ugly and selfish an cruel person he really is, and always has been. Don't let any of the ugly things he thinks or says hurt you - they only prove his own utter ugliness, and actually say nothing true about you.
There isn't a single reason to think that he ever had good feelings about you - it was all about him and what he could get for nothing. Recognize that there is absolutely NOTHING about this guy that deserves to be loved, especilly not deserving the love of a good person like you. Maria is right. Move on, and be thankful that you can leave this loser and cheater behind you.

Reply to cybershrink

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