Our expert says:
As far as I can recall your situation, your misery is self-chosen and self-imposed. You have chosen to allow yourself to become infatuated with a man with whom more attempts at having an affair will only cause more misery all round. And much of the misery is not only created by you, but is genuinely a form of self-pity. Stop seeing the other man, and keep reminding yourself that your "relationship" with him is a fantasy you created to entertain yourself rather than work to engance your marriage.
Explore creatively, and you should be able to find some source of free or at least economical counselling, maybe even from a church. But don't expect anyone to encourage you to continue to indulge yourself in the luxury of romantic fantasies. Solve the real problems you have, rather than creating problems youdon't need to have.
And even without medical aid, consider what the disaster you are creating would cost, and ratgher forego other luxuries and get some counselling. FAMSA may be able to recommend some economical sources ; maybe the nearest training school for counsellors, social workers or psychologists could provide help free.
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