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Question
Posted by: Charlie | 2011/10/25

Total lack of sex

My husband is diabetic-diagnosed 1994 but is healthy and sugar levels well controlled. He is 49 and working full day and keeps busy in and around the house. We both know for medical reasons that his sex drive had deminished over the years and currently non-existent. I am 49, hve no serious health problems but I am not at all interested in sex, haven''t been for years! I can mention that I had total abdominal histerectomy as well as both avarian tubes removed due to abnormal cells found, I am not using any HRT treatment. Any way we haven''t had any sex since Feb 2010, we don''t discuss the subject and carry with our daily lives as normal. We are great friends, companions and we don''t argue over this at all, we just both accepted the fact that he can''t and I won''t. Other than the " sex thing"  we have a great marriage and very seldom fight. We have our differences but able to always sort things out. What is your opinion, are we ok? Many thanks, best regards.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

there is no normal sex drive / desire. if both of you are happy with no sex, there is nothing wrong with the arrangement. however, to be certain, discuss the matter with your hubby and ensure that both of you communicate openly about your needs / wants.

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Our users say:
Posted by: still young | 2011/10/27

We havn''t had sex for almost a year. it is so bad that I found myself a vibrator and a lover. i have an extremely high sex drive. I am 50 years old, very fit and attractive for my age and I just cannot understand his problem. i tried to discuss the matter with him a few times but he has no interest in talking about the matter. He does not have an affair with anyone else, so that cannot be the problem. i have never been unfaithful to him before but the lack of sex situation made it impossible for me to to stay faithful. I am in a very liberated relationship with someone whom I adore but really do not want to marry. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. It makes the problem at home much more bearable. I think my husband knows about my affair and I think he prefers it. We are not unhappily married. he just do not have any interest in sex anymore and do not want to be forced into it. He has never before been very romantic. O yes and he is cerainly not gay. Only completely a-sexual.

Reply to still young
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/10/27

there is no normal sex drive / desire. if both of you are happy with no sex, there is nothing wrong with the arrangement. however, to be certain, discuss the matter with your hubby and ensure that both of you communicate openly about your needs / wants.

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Charlie | 2011/10/25

Thanks for your input guys, just to say, we have talked about our sex " issue"  it''s not like we never discussed it, but we don''t have frequent " talks"  about it, we are fine, I do think there are times when my hubby wants to but the few times we tried he couldn''t and I don''t want him to feel bad about it, so for me it''s not a problem. IWe both just know that we are ok without sex. He was and always will be the only man for me and he knows that sex was never a priority for me, we have beautiful children so I wasn''t that bad when I was younger (laughs) and recently took in a foster child and we keep real busy with work, kids and socialising. He is a fantastic father and we all respect and love him dearly. Sex is important but not everything!

Reply to Charlie
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/10/25

Being a diabetic makes things a bit more difficult for the man and there are pills to help. Question is if you went off sex because of your husband''s condition? I suppose if you both do not want sex, you are ok although still very young!!

I am a diabetic and still perform normally without help of any pills.....only problem for me is my wife does not want sex anymore for 2 years running.....and I still need some!!

But that is beside the point.....if you are happy, do nopt fight and do not cheat, you are great!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: JR | 2011/10/25

I dont know, my dad is 70 and diabetic and he still needs his " fix"  every so often. It is embarasing to talk about, (afterall, our parents are not sexual beings, they are our parents) but this is what he has told me when I questioned him about a certain woman in his life I particularly dislike.

I suppose if you both agree that that is how it is, then I suppose you are ok. If you havent talked about it though, how do you know that your husband is ok with it, as opposed to just going along with it?

It is great if you are always able to sorth things out. I think that is a big plus.

Just my two cents worth.

Reply to JR

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