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Question
Posted by: gorgeous | 2011-03-03

Torn between two guys

I had been seeing a guy for 6 months. relationship started off well until he started being distant, he would not spend time with me, but with his friends. he had suffered a stroke a while back when he was hurt by the mother of his child. i mean we hardly spend time, i last saw him a month back and all he does is to call gud nite. i was approached by this other gentle man in december last year and we started chatting on FB, he confessed he has had a crush on me, he is so wonderful and sweet as well. he has two kids from previous relationship and they have ended things with his fiance early last year. it happened that my BF saw me and this friend of mine and he concluded everything. he has taken me out on dates on a number of occasions and we really clicked. now my BF says he will be a changed man and is now bad mouthing the other friend, saying that he knows he has a wife and children and that i will get hurt in the process. i am not really ready to take BF back because of all the emotional abuse he has put me through. WHAT DO I DO AND IF I DO BREAK THINGS OFF, HOW DO I DO IT?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Do remmber that people who have a history of previously failed relatonships, are quite likely to fail again in their next relationship, whatever the reason for the earlier failures.
I don't think we, from the outside can tell you what to do, as so much depends on the complex personalities of the many individuals involved in your story

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ship | 2011-03-04

Go with your heart. The new guy sounds just right for you. I am in my second marriage and I was blessed to be given another chance and I am going to make this one work. So I disagree that if you come from a failed relationship that the others might not work.

Enjoy the party, send me some cake!

Reply to Ship
Posted by: gorgeous | 2011-03-03

thanks for the comments, no matter how sorry i feel for the BF i still think that it will take a whole lot for him to change his ways and his controlling ways....he says he can forget about what i did, but from how i know him, i know he will use it and hold it against me, because to him i am now labelled a cheater and he is the one in the first place who was pushing me away.....on the other hand, things couldnt get better with the new friend, on sunday is his b-day, so he asked me on a date to celebrate it....and i think i am going to take him up on his offer.

Reply to gorgeous
Posted by: XXX | 2011-03-03

The fact that your initial relationship essentially failed probably means it is unlikely to work if you try again (only rarely does it).
You would both have to be 150 pc committed or you have no chance.
It is probably better if you continue to pursue the new relationship and see where that leads you.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-03-03

Do remmber that people who have a history of previously failed relatonships, are quite likely to fail again in their next relationship, whatever the reason for the earlier failures.
I don't think we, from the outside can tell you what to do, as so much depends on the complex personalities of the many individuals involved in your story

Reply to cybershrink

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