Posted by: Quietness | 2009-07-15

Too quiet

Hello CS

I have always been an introvert my whole life. Now that I' m a young femaly adult, in a career where I deal with people all the time but mostly over the phone where I will be friendly and talk in a professional manner, however when it comes to attending networking sessions regarding work I am totally useless. I know I come across as unfriendly. I want to change this. When I am with people that know me personally I am outgoing and outspoken. It' s as though my whole personality changes as soon as I am in the company of new people, mostly business people. I need to be more friendly and outspoken. It' s not right how I am this way.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like some degree of possible Social Anxiety Disorder, which responds very well and promptly to CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Disorder ). Do explore your options --- is there perhaps a visiting shrink ( this is so in some small towns ) --- or it might be worth arranging to a break with leave, to visit a larger town where you have family or friends to stay with, to have some CBT sessions. Also, explore online bookstores like and and, for self-help books SPECIFICALLY using Cognitive-Behavioural methods for Social Anxiety, and you may find those really helpful.
And when you mention takin a drink --- unfortunately, some folks actually develop an alcohol habit / dependency starting with self-medication with alcohol when they feel socially awkward

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Quietness | 2009-07-15

Thanks so much CS!!

I will stay away from alcohol except if I am with my good friends and if everyone is enjoying themselves with some red too  -)

Reply to Quietness
Posted by: Quietness | 2009-07-15

Thanks Liza

Living in a small town does not help. I don' t think we even have shrinks I could talk to in person. Although I go over an event in my head and hope it turns out the way I am thinking it. Sounds so crazy I know. I try to have a positive outlook but once I am in the situation it all changes and I back to my " unfriendly"  self.

Perhaps a glass of wine would help hahaha  -)

Reply to Quietness
Posted by: Liza | 2009-07-15

I know CS is going to advise this too. See a therapist for some cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). To find a therapist, you could call one of the numbers at the top of the page for Lifeline and the Anxiety and Depression support group. It sounds like you' re suffering from Social Anxiety and going for CBT is one of the best ways to improve Social anxiety.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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