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Question
Posted by: Oldy | 2009/12/17

Too Old for Sex?

My husband of 72 thinks he is " past it"  at 72 and says all people of that age are. I am 70 and do not think so. I know he suffers from ED and have asked him to go for a checkup as I know there health risks involved but he absolutely refuses to go. He is otherwise very fit and goes to gym regularly. So do I and go swimming. Any advice? Must I let things be? Are we too old?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Oldy,

There is no such thing as too old for sex and pleasure!!! Tell you husband that Charlie Chaplin still sired a child at the age of 91.

As we grow older and our bodies do go through normal changes, we do need to adapt sexually too. Things like arousal in men takes abit longer, the focus and intensity of stimulation needs to be adjusted to stimulate pleasure sensations etc.

I would strongly support you in recommending your husband get a physical check, as you are correct erectile dysfunction is often an indicator of possible health concerns and secondly it is treatable and with the help of medication erectile function can be improved and/or restored.

The fact tht both of you live healthy active lives should stand you both in good stead in your sexual lives.

The idea that the elderly are asexual and have a sell by date is one of the horrible discriminatory sex negative attitudes that pervade or society - it is called ageism.

So please do not let things be - you both have the right to and deserve to continue experiencing pleasure and intimacy in your relationship.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Grandma | 2009/12/21

Hi, I would say certainly not, one is never too old for sex + lovemaking. I' m 61 + my bf of 2 yrs is 68. He is still able to satisfy me - we do it at least 4 times a week. I still just LOVE sex + so does he. I have a better sex life now than 20 yrs ago. But then it' s not only about sex, it' s about genuine love, tenderness, companionship, me being treated like a queen. All these thing added together make our whole sex life WOW.

Reply to Grandma
Posted by: Grandma | 2009/12/21

Hi, I would say certainly not, one is never too old for sex + lovemaking. I' m 61 + my bf of 2 yrs is 68. He is still able to satisfy me - we do it at least 4 times a week. I still just LOVE sex + so does he. I have a better sex life now than 20 yrs ago. But then it' s not only about sex, it' s about genuine love, tenderness, companionship, me being treated like a queen. All these thing added together make our whole sex life WOW.

Reply to Grandma
Posted by: Oldy | 2009/12/18

Sorry Sexologist, didn' t see your post when I first logged on. Thank you for your response. I think the trouble is that I have always had a stronger sex drive than he has had? It is not important for him, as a matter of fact I don' t think he enjoys anything at the moment. He is only obsesses with watching sport, be it rugby, cricket, soccer, motor racing etc and will watch from early morn until he falls asleep on the couch at night. I do watch certain programmes (loath sport) but rather read a book, both in the bedroom. I actually think he needs antidepressants but he is also totally against seeing someone about that.

Thank you anyway.

Reply to Oldy
Posted by: Oldy | 2009/12/18

I have aches and pains too but not all the time so its no excuse. He is the straightlaced one in our home and would be horrified if I suggested watching porn - has never seen any nor does he want to. My late first husband was game for everything but not this one. As for my gratification..........enough said.

I have mentioned Viagra et al but he wont hear about taking pills and certainly not for that. He is totally against any kind of pills, even his cholestererol pills he swallows with difficulty. I do take tablets because I don' t believe in suffering if there is a cure
- he calls me a pill popper!
Thank you " Also"  and " XXX"  for responding, I was just wondering if I am some kind of weirdo! Guess I will have to buy something from an " Adult"  (love that word) shop!

Reply to Oldy
Posted by: XXX | 2009/12/18

I am nowhere that age but I' m pretty sure that in this day and age,what with the likes of Viagra etc,we should have sex until we pass on one day.
Try and talk your husband into going to a dr.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Also | 2009/12/18

He is fortunate to have someone like you who is still willing to have sex. I guess his ED is somewhat a mental block for him and he may feel too inadequate. I am younger, but also in that " phase"  of ones life where the drive is not that strong. Unfortunately my wife has lost all interest and is always full of aches and pains so we have not done anything for years. What you might try is viewing some porn together, if you are not too straight laced and maybe handle him intimately and that may get things going. If he is not interested then maybe you could get him to participate for your own gratification, why should you go without ? I dont believe anyone is really too old for sex, most of it is just in the mind. Give it a try anyway

Reply to Also
Posted by: Sexologist | 2009/12/18

Dear Oldy,

There is no such thing as too old for sex and pleasure!!! Tell you husband that Charlie Chaplin still sired a child at the age of 91.

As we grow older and our bodies do go through normal changes, we do need to adapt sexually too. Things like arousal in men takes abit longer, the focus and intensity of stimulation needs to be adjusted to stimulate pleasure sensations etc.

I would strongly support you in recommending your husband get a physical check, as you are correct erectile dysfunction is often an indicator of possible health concerns and secondly it is treatable and with the help of medication erectile function can be improved and/or restored.

The fact tht both of you live healthy active lives should stand you both in good stead in your sexual lives.

The idea that the elderly are asexual and have a sell by date is one of the horrible discriminatory sex negative attitudes that pervade or society - it is called ageism.

So please do not let things be - you both have the right to and deserve to continue experiencing pleasure and intimacy in your relationship.

Reply to Sexologist

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