Our expert says:
Honest discussion needs to happen. Pretending all is well when it isn’t builds resentment and can negatively affect sexual relationships. Start by affirming him as a person then say you would like to explore ways to make sex great for both of you. He may feel that he is a ‘real man’ because he can ‘last a long time’. He needs to know that extended penetration causes friction and pain. Pain will decrease your arousal and may even result in you avoiding sex because of the ‘anticipation’ of it being unbearable. Tell him that ‘quickies’ are really sexy! Delayed ejaculation may relate to anxiety and an inability to ‘let go’ (release). I suggest you delay penetration until just before climax. Vibrators may be helpful – some can be inserted into the vagina followed by penis penetration. The vibrator will give the extra stimulation which may help ejaculation. Some relationship exercises are available on the SA Sexual Health Association website. Expert opinions are provided by the SA Sexual Health Association: www.sexualhealth.co.za
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