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Question
Posted by: Rosey | 2008/08/21

Too lonely too break up

What a pitiful position I find myself in. My gut is telling me this guy is not right for me. Been together for 3 yrs and things are good. But they' re not great. He' s just not all that deep.

But I find that I' ve been living like a hermet for the last few years. Have always been kind of anti-social but even us hermets need to feel connection with other people. Most of my friends and I have drifted apart, so how do I keep my sanity when I end it with Mr Frog? If I' m all alone I know I' ll give in and contact him, and will remain miserable in the long run. Is it just not the right time to end it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Presumably he hasn't grown any shallower in 3 years --- has he revealed his shallowness more obviously, or has your tolerance of it dropped, or your expectations raised ? As a hermit, maybe start by reviving your previous friendships where possible, and looking for opportunities to develop new freinds. Why not also get involved in charitable / NGo work, which can help others, help you to keep busy and get things into perspective ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Rosey | 2008/08/24

Thanks for the feedback guys. I think my expectations have raised. More frustrating than fun nowadays. I' m making it my mission to try revive some old friendships now and to get more involved in life. I' m not ready to break up with him without a support system in place.

Reply to Rosey
Posted by: Mambo | 2008/08/22

Easy to say " get out" . I agree with Tango, but this is only wise if you are willing to lead a purposeful life in future and not to withdraw to your study, computer and work. Don’ t fool yourself that this might bring happiness There is no point in withdrawing from society and possibly a new relationship because of your past experience.. Be careful not to blame your partner for everything - he is not responsible for you being anti-social. Is it his responsibility to help you deal with this behavior or should you get professional help? Men are often guilty of what they are blamed for, but sometimes their behaviour is a response to what is returned to them.

Reply to Mambo
Posted by: Tango | 2008/08/21

Miserable if you do - miserable if you don' t.

Well, its better being miserable on your own and finding other opportunities to interact with new people than stay in a dead end relationship - and remain miserable. Sometimes you have to take the pain to get eventual relief. Bit like slicing open a boil to get the muck out before you heal!!

Reply to Tango

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