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Question
Posted by: elli | 2011/04/21

Too emotional???

Hi,

My boyfriend just broke up with me saying that he cannot handle all the upsetting and emotional stuff flying around. I know it is for the better but was he just unsensitive or is that something that guys don''t like? Or was I just too emotional?

In the beginning of our relationship, I was happy all the time and he actually made a comment back then that I never cried. I said back then that I don''t have to cry, because I am happy.

Then things started changing and I started feeling less important in his live that he didn''t take me into consideration, etc. and I started to get upset more. In the last two weeks, I started crying twice when we brought up this easter weekend plan and then he just told me he had enough. I basically told him from the beginning of this year that I wanted to go away this weekend, but that I was not going to make the plans, because he shot me down a few times before when I suggested to go somewhere. Anyway, yesterday he just txt me saying that he is going away with his friend!!! I phoned him, got upset and started crying, because we have discussed this so many times before and he knew exactly how I feel. I sort of made peace that we weren''t going to go away, because he didn''t have money. And then this!!!

It is the first time in my life that somebody said I was too emotional.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Generally ( and few generalizations are accurate in most cases ) men are uneasy when women get very emotional - they don't know how to handle it, and don't like meeting situations they don't know how to handle.
Its possible he found this more difficult than most, or you could be more emotionally demanding than most, what's siometimes called High Maintenance. In a close relationship you are indeed important to each other, but can't reasonably expect to be the most important thing on his mind at all times.
And, for instance, an insistence that he must take you away somewhere nice ( he wouldn't see much point in taking you somewhere nasty ) when he cant afford to do so, is unrealistic and would make him feel bad.
Maybe it's just that you're descibin what troubles you, but as you describe the relationship, it seems to be all about you, and how he makes you feel. How important did he feel he was, to you ? Not just as a provider of ways to make you feel good, but in the sense of you actually bothering much about how he felt and what he wanted ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: elli | 2011/04/21

Hi.

Forgot to mention, but we were together for 8 months.

Elli

Reply to elli
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/21

Generally ( and few generalizations are accurate in most cases ) men are uneasy when women get very emotional - they don't know how to handle it, and don't like meeting situations they don't know how to handle.
Its possible he found this more difficult than most, or you could be more emotionally demanding than most, what's siometimes called High Maintenance. In a close relationship you are indeed important to each other, but can't reasonably expect to be the most important thing on his mind at all times.
And, for instance, an insistence that he must take you away somewhere nice ( he wouldn't see much point in taking you somewhere nasty ) when he cant afford to do so, is unrealistic and would make him feel bad.
Maybe it's just that you're descibin what troubles you, but as you describe the relationship, it seems to be all about you, and how he makes you feel. How important did he feel he was, to you ? Not just as a provider of ways to make you feel good, but in the sense of you actually bothering much about how he felt and what he wanted ?

Reply to cybershrink

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