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Question
Posted by: diva | 2012/06/04

toddler not using toilet suddenly

please help me, my almost 3 year old was fully potty trained, only used a nappy when sleeping, and suddenly she refuses to use the potty most of the times, for background, i relocated to Jeffreysbay about a year and a half ago and was living with my sister and her big family, to which my daughter is very attached to, especially my sister, but two months ago we moved into our own little place. i get that maybe she is missing them, although we make sure she visits there often. i just dont know what to do about the situation, the school wants to put her a class down now, because she is the only child in her class not " potty trained" . when she visits my sister she uses the potty. and she doesnt seem unhappy at home, she always plays with me and is as loving as always, please help me, im so frustrated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

IS she still upset by the move, and disturbed by the lack of that big family she felt so attached to ? Its typical that a young child who becomes unhappy for whatever reason, regresses and loses some of her developmental achievements.
Obviously, seeing a child psychologist would be the most rapid way to sort this out, but may be difficult unless there is one accessable in Richards Bay ( I don't know !) Could she and you see someone when you are visiting your sister ?
Meantime, try talking with her about how she feels about the move ; try to work with her to find positives about the move, and new friends to enhance her current life ( focussing only on the missing family may make her Richards Bay life seem more bereft ) ; you can say you're a bit disappointed that she was such a clever and big girl in managing on the potty before the move, and when visiting back with the family, and sad that she seems to forget how to do that when in her new home. Ask her how she feels about that. Menation that as she's now the only child in her class not potty trained, the school wants her to stay behind the other children : does she want that to happen ?
Create a chart so each day you and she can evaluate how she has managed, with a black spot each day she fails to use the potty effectively, and a gold star each day she does, explaining this all to her very clearly. And maybe let her pick from a range of modest rewards of things she really likes and wants, a reward for every 5 gold stars she can earn

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/05

IS she still upset by the move, and disturbed by the lack of that big family she felt so attached to ? Its typical that a young child who becomes unhappy for whatever reason, regresses and loses some of her developmental achievements.
Obviously, seeing a child psychologist would be the most rapid way to sort this out, but may be difficult unless there is one accessable in Richards Bay ( I don't know !) Could she and you see someone when you are visiting your sister ?
Meantime, try talking with her about how she feels about the move ; try to work with her to find positives about the move, and new friends to enhance her current life ( focussing only on the missing family may make her Richards Bay life seem more bereft ) ; you can say you're a bit disappointed that she was such a clever and big girl in managing on the potty before the move, and when visiting back with the family, and sad that she seems to forget how to do that when in her new home. Ask her how she feels about that. Menation that as she's now the only child in her class not potty trained, the school wants her to stay behind the other children : does she want that to happen ?
Create a chart so each day you and she can evaluate how she has managed, with a black spot each day she fails to use the potty effectively, and a gold star each day she does, explaining this all to her very clearly. And maybe let her pick from a range of modest rewards of things she really likes and wants, a reward for every 5 gold stars she can earn

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