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Question
Posted by: T | 2011/09/28

Toddler issues

Hi,

As posted earlier the issues that we are facting are impacting my toddler. He is 2.5years old and will not sleep through the night he will keep waking and looking for me. How do I comfort him and assure that we are there and will always be there for him, that no one is leaving him. I have lost count of the number of times he wakes at night. He has not slept through the night except for a brief 2 week period but lately it is worse than ever and the only thing that has happened lately is our relationship issues.

Please help me help him which will put us both as ease?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes, the paediarician may hav some useful ideas.
That he HAS managed even a 2-week period of sleeping through the night, establishes that he CAN do so. He is still probably picking up on the stress between you adults, and feeling more insecure insecure than usual. Keep telling him that you will always be there for him, even, and maybe especially, during the night. Let him come through, if he must, to check that you're there. Then having established that fact, take him gently but firmly back to his own bed. The first time you explain, that as he saw, you're still there, and trying to get your own sleeping done, and he needs to sleep well in his own bed. On any subsequent visits, just take him calmly back, without further discussion let alone argument. At first it seems as though he will never get the idea, but eventually they generally do.
And urgently work with proper counselling to sort out your relationship issues, which are probably the root cause of his feeling so insecure.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/09/28

Maybe postto the Pediatrician''s forum on this site. Maybe he could suggest something to make baby sleep through in order for him to get into a routine.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/28

Yes, the paediarician may hav some useful ideas.
That he HAS managed even a 2-week period of sleeping through the night, establishes that he CAN do so. He is still probably picking up on the stress between you adults, and feeling more insecure insecure than usual. Keep telling him that you will always be there for him, even, and maybe especially, during the night. Let him come through, if he must, to check that you're there. Then having established that fact, take him gently but firmly back to his own bed. The first time you explain, that as he saw, you're still there, and trying to get your own sleeping done, and he needs to sleep well in his own bed. On any subsequent visits, just take him calmly back, without further discussion let alone argument. At first it seems as though he will never get the idea, but eventually they generally do.
And urgently work with proper counselling to sort out your relationship issues, which are probably the root cause of his feeling so insecure.

Reply to cybershrink

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