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Question
Posted by: Wife | 2010/07/26

To the Doctor and other women who can relate

Hubby and me used 2 hav sex on a regular basis.. it reduced to when he''s in the mood then i''m nt in the mood, then it got worse to i''m pleasing him tonight then he''s pleasing me the next. In that time we both had that communication level ,that we could talk about the lack of sex and how we understood each other,and laugh boutit, so much so that i asked him if he masturbated the previous night when i was sleeping or, i told him i masturbated,when we were both too tired the previous night, we even encouraged each other to masturbate and telling each other that we''re gonna make love the next evening. Lately, i really have no sex drive, not even to masturbate,its been months now and neither does he masturbate,cos trust me i know when he does, i just dont have any sexual feelings anymore, and i think it''s because we put " lovemaking"  so aside for that long. My question is doc, is there a diet or food or drinks or anything i can use to increase my longing for sex again? I havnt cheated nor do i have the desire to cheat but i feel terrible for my husband and i realy want to make him feel loved again, cos lately he''s the one making an effort then i''m just " doing him"  and tell him he can return the favour next tym, but i know a man wants to feel " desired"  and i know its only a matter of time before he totally withdrawn. We''re married for 10years love each other to bits, we dont have any illness or anything, i know he''s not cheating cos he respects and love me too much, shows and tells me everyday, and i dont want him to divorce me one day for not giving him " sex" , we understand and talk bout it regularly,and he says he''s still happy and satisfied with the amount of times we are " doing it"  or " how we doing it"  but i as a woman knows i''m not giving my man what he deserves. Is there pills on the market?to resolve my problem or is it a real problem or am i just selfish. I''m not overworked and love my hubby,dont even notice other men. I''m 35 he''s 50.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

that you have a love with open communication channels is the foundation of a healthy relationship. thus i would not worry about affairs and divorce. rather, you should get into the routine of romance and sex. together decide on the number of times you want to have sex a week. after which, make a concerted effort to achieve that amount of sex a week. each sexual encounter can be enshrined with romance and a different position. by doing so, both will be satisfied and with the added romance, arousal will increase on all sides.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/07/26

that you have a love with open communication channels is the foundation of a healthy relationship. thus i would not worry about affairs and divorce. rather, you should get into the routine of romance and sex. together decide on the number of times you want to have sex a week. after which, make a concerted effort to achieve that amount of sex a week. each sexual encounter can be enshrined with romance and a different position. by doing so, both will be satisfied and with the added romance, arousal will increase on all sides.

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