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Posted by: B.O.B | 2011/02/17

to tell or not to tell

I Have a very good friend and its common knowledge to everyone that im actually madly in love with her.she recently started seeing someone and i was shattered but respected her decision.me and my best friend decided to o clubbing on night in a different area than we usually went.i saw this guy that shes dating making out with another girl.it was far away so i couldv been mistaken.i was standing in the que for the bathroom and he walked up tome and said that if i say anything to her hes gonna beat me up.he said that hes a man and he has needs and hes just taking care of those needs.im not worried about him beating me up but im afraid to tell her because she might think im deliberately trying to break them up because of my feelings for her.should i tell her or not

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Is this "madly in love" "common knowledge" to her, as well as to everyone else ? Has she commented about how she felt about you ? Sounds like she's been cheating on you ( although, if she doesn't consider herself to be in a real relationship with you, she's no cheating ) but that the other guy is cheating on her. Ho-hum.
His "I am a man and have needs that MUST be taken care of " is balderdash. Some childish and selfish men seem to assume there is a little-known section of the SA Constitution which says that any and every time he feels randy, he MUST be enabled to have sex with anything that moves, as often as he wishes. Everyone has needs, but they deal wih them appropriately and responsibly. T
his excuse for being promiscuous is as rotten as saying " I am a man with needs for a car - so I'll hijack one" "I have needs for a cell-phone - so I'll take hers".
And if he threatens to beat you up for revealing his cheating, then (a) he's a thug, and (b) he knows there's something wrong with what he's doing, or he wouldn't care what you said.
She doesn't sound like a good friend of yours, or you would feel free to talk to her about anything, including this.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Zet | 2011/02/17

Agree with Hestia. I would tell and I would also expect my " friends"  to tell me...

Reply to Zet
Posted by: Hestia | 2011/02/17

I expect my friend(s) to tell me.

Reply to Hestia
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/17

Is this "madly in love" "common knowledge" to her, as well as to everyone else ? Has she commented about how she felt about you ? Sounds like she's been cheating on you ( although, if she doesn't consider herself to be in a real relationship with you, she's no cheating ) but that the other guy is cheating on her. Ho-hum.
His "I am a man and have needs that MUST be taken care of " is balderdash. Some childish and selfish men seem to assume there is a little-known section of the SA Constitution which says that any and every time he feels randy, he MUST be enabled to have sex with anything that moves, as often as he wishes. Everyone has needs, but they deal wih them appropriately and responsibly. T
his excuse for being promiscuous is as rotten as saying " I am a man with needs for a car - so I'll hijack one" "I have needs for a cell-phone - so I'll take hers".
And if he threatens to beat you up for revealing his cheating, then (a) he's a thug, and (b) he knows there's something wrong with what he's doing, or he wouldn't care what you said.
She doesn't sound like a good friend of yours, or you would feel free to talk to her about anything, including this.

Reply to cybershrink

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