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Question
Posted by: JS | 2011/12/02

To Swing or Not To Swing

My partner, S, and I have been in a committed relationship for about a year and a half. He knows I have a history of watching too much porn, engaging in dirty online chat and occasional excessive masturbation. He also knows I could kind of consider myself a voyeur and exhibitionist sometimes. He has asked me to keep it strictly technological and if I ever get on a webcam, not to show the goods. This is a dramatic improvement over my last serious relationship, in which my boyfriend would actually get angry with me if I masturbated without him present.

I have a friend at work (E), also in a long-term committed relationship, who also enjoys dirty online chat. We''ve exchanged a couple pictures, his fully exposed, mine we''ll call " artfully suggestive,"  to comply with S''s request that he be the only person who gets to see me naked. E and I both agree that we''re completely happy in our current relationships, and would never physically cheat on our partners. We justify it by saying that the online chat and pictures are enough of an outlet to prevent us from doing anything worse.

The proposition has come up that if I were to be in an empty bathroom with him, we''d peek at each other at the urinal. But I know it has the potential to escalate into something more, as his agreement with his partner (T) allows him more freedom with his nudity.

While the mere idea of watching someone else masturbate is a giant turn on in theory, as soon as it starts becoming a possibility I start feeling anxious and nervous. I start to clam up and have second thoughts about whether it''s even a good idea. T is someone I''ve also been attracted to, and the idea of swinging has come up several times in my chats with E at work. E says they''re probably both ready for a threesome or swinging, but would need to have a conversation privately before inviting anyone in. (T is kind of shy.) S has suggested he''s not into the idea at all. He''s body-conscious, even with me, and he tends to be rather private about sex (unlike myself, who talks about sex to co-workers).

I''ve been an outwardly sexual and flirtatious person my whole life, even with friends. But for some reason, this has been a physical reaction I have every time a scenario with multiple partners is presented. Should I take this as a sign that I''m just not meant for swinging, threesomes and orgies? Or should I talk with S and see if he''d be open to trying it just once? (Maybe with him on board, my nerves would calm themselves?)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

You are playing with fire. It is known that these things that you fantasize about can cause long term problems and many good relationships were sacrificed for a wild fantasy. Be also aware that talking sex can be considered sexual harassment / inappropriate professional conduct in the work place and you can loose your job. Keep your relationships at work strictly professional and keep your sex fantasies at home where you can explore in a secure relationship. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Hornyguy67 | 2011/12/05

Mail me hornyguy67 at gmail dot com

Reply to Hornyguy67
Posted by: Roomy | 2011/12/05

People with " healthy"  minds must hate you very much.
Keep it in your pants, you are vulgar.

Reply to Roomy
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/12/02

You are playing with fire. It is known that these things that you fantasize about can cause long term problems and many good relationships were sacrificed for a wild fantasy. Be also aware that talking sex can be considered sexual harassment / inappropriate professional conduct in the work place and you can loose your job. Keep your relationships at work strictly professional and keep your sex fantasies at home where you can explore in a secure relationship. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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