Posted by: shy | 2010-07-22

To shy in the bedroom but want to do something more exciting

My hubby and I have been married for about 3 years now and i love him very much. However i find i''m very shy and reserved when it comes to us making love. I really want to try something exciting and different but cringe at blind folds or lying naked or strip shows...would feel too embarresed. What can you suggest that i could do that would start this process off slowly so that i don''t feel too shy or embarrased? we do oral and a few other positions but still need something more exciting for him.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

buy a book on sex positions or romance from your local bookstore. in the book, there will be plenty of safe, basic and fun ideas on how to spice up your love life. read the book together with your hubby and experiment with the positions presented.

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Our users say:
Posted by: shy | 2010-07-26

Hi woman. did this new idea of yours work at first or was your man a bit apprehensive at first? did you have to do this type of thing a few times until you both felt comfortable? thanks

Reply to shy
Posted by: Woman | 2010-07-26

Glad you enjoyed it Shy :) The important thing is that you have taken the first step.Now just let your imagination do the rest. Different things do it for different couples - keep talking to him, and don''t be afraid to do what seems exciting to you. There are many stunning books you can buy to give you ideas. Exclusive books has a whole section devoted to such things.

have fun!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: shy | 2010-07-25

trying the strawberries and cream this afternoon, looking so forward to it :)

Reply to shy
Posted by: shy | 2010-07-25

Thanks woman, you have really saved our sex life..saturday night...well lets just say ...fireworks!!! did the tie up thing and my hubby loved it and i didn''t even have to switch off the lights,its amazing what sexy lingerie does for you hey?

I must say that talking dirty to each other really turned us both you do that to? :)

Reply to shy
Posted by: Woman | 2010-07-23

Darling,I *always* wear silk or lace lingerie. It''s essential! My husband watches me put these amazing things on each day. We make time during the week for some mutual relaxation, and weekends we play. Not role play so much, but i do have a french maid outfit...

You can use the strawberry for whatever you want to - use your imagination. Hmmm, where can a strawberry be eaten from?

Have a wonderful weekend, shy. I have this idea that, come monday, there will be at least two very happy men in this universe  )

Reply to Woman
Posted by: shy | 2010-07-23

Great, i''ll try that, do you wear sexy lingerie when you do this? do you normally do this during the week at night or on the weekend? normally during the week we are both so tired, we are only 27 and 37 but feel so tired once the head meets the pillow! also what do you do with the strawberries? i like the idea of champagne :) Thanks for the help :) also do you role play?

Reply to shy
Posted by: badboy | 2010-07-23

that is so true woman

Reply to badboy
Posted by: Woman | 2010-07-23

I once tied him to the feet of the base with his ties. Then I poured baby oil all over him and gave him a lovely slippery massage :) Else you can just tie his hands together.

I don''t think that any lotions or potions work at all. It''s all about the mood yous et. Strawberries and champagne is all you need, I think. The secret is that the more good sex you have, the more you will want. So even if you''re not in the mood,allow him to get you in the mood. As I said, there is nothing bad you can do in the bedroom - the old adage really is true -a man wants a chef in the kitchen, a lady in company and a wanton whore in the bedroom.


So glad I could help, hope you have fun!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Horny Guy | 2010-07-23

Shy - yes Spanish fly does work.

Reply to Horny Guy
Posted by: shy | 2010-07-23

Thanks! i''ll deff try that, that is such a good idea! what do you use to tie up your husband? what do you tie him to because our bed doesn''t have anything to tie to?

I really don''t believe in watching porn at all and regard our sex life as sacred just like you say, so glad there are still those who think like this :)
have you heard of spanish fly, its supposed to increase your sex drive? do you think this would work? sometimes when i''m in the mood then i''m not shy at all but its to get into that mood :) thanks woman :)

Reply to shy
Posted by: Woman | 2010-07-22

First you need to realise that sex between you and your husband is a private thing. You cannot possibly be a slut if your enjoying private time with your husband, can you? You need to become confident in yourself. You are a woman and a sexual being.

To get rid of your shyness: get undressed and stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself. Se what air does to your skin, your nipples, sit open legs in front of the mirror, really look at yourself. At first you will be embarrassed, later you will feel comfortable looking at yourself. This is something you can do for yourself, it is private and not intended to be a dirty thing. How can you relax naked with a man between your legs if you don''t even know what he''s looking at and tasting? Confidence in your body will give you more confidence as a woman.

As for trying something new - why don''t you try tying him to the bed. Then switch of the lights so that it is dark. Now just allow yourself to taste him, lick him, suck him everywhere. Kiss him in his neck, on his arms, suck his fingers. His thighs, his feet, his toes. Cover every inch of his body with kisses,trails of your tongue.And when he begs, untie him and then.. just let the tide take you. That doesn''t sound too hard, does it?

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Another Anon | 2010-07-22

How old are you guys?

Reply to Another Anon
Posted by: Anon | 2010-07-22

Shy why not try watching some porn together.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2010-07-22

buy a book on sex positions or romance from your local bookstore. in the book, there will be plenty of safe, basic and fun ideas on how to spice up your love life. read the book together with your hubby and experiment with the positions presented.

Reply to sexologist

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