Posted by: Miri | 2010-01-27

To Shane below

Hi Shane

Well i am surprised. You sound like a great guy, keep it up. I just need to make sure you not lacking the love and companionship because of your own doing, what i mean is, have you sat your wife down and told her how you feel. Tell her you miss all those things the same way you say in below. I can almost guarantee you that she will respond positively and start changing back into the person she was for you. Do not threaten an affair obviously but say to her that you are scared that maybe she does not love you anymore in which case men in your situation go lookin elsewhere (do not make it about sex or her weight) just the lack of attention from her side. Tell her you do not want to be one of those men going lookins so you thought about it and want her to know how special she still is and how special you want to feel, tell her you will take it one day at a time.

THEN put your needs into action by starting to exercise and asking her to join you if you dont already, make it fun and tell her its a good way to spend quality time. THen also dont leave it to her to make date time for you both, As a man initiate a babysitter or whatever so the two of you can be alone. Take her out for dinner or something u did not do in a long time and tell her upfront you not going mad its just you trying to win her back.,

I am in same situation where i point fingers to my husb that things are not the same, but damn i keep asking myself what am i really doing to make the difference, since i seem to have the most problems. Men/women we need to do something re our situation before it s too late. I am happy to hear that men to want and need an emotional connection not just a physical one. Now we need to work on the women to brainwash them back into believing its possible because maybe all along we ve been conditioned to think men only want to get it on, kiss her if you' ve stopped kissing her this normally means SO much to a women, hold her hand in publilc if you stopped or ddid not do that all these small things will make her more confident to even loose the weight for that matter so that she can make you proud!

Good luck!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I think I have missed some of the above correspondence. But it appears that you are talking about a couple growing appart - emotionally and physically. Should you not be able to sort it out between yourselves, there will always be professionals that can help you, like psychologists and counsellors.

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