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Posted by: not sure | 2012/04/18

to Liza

I posted for my friend as I wasnt sure of how to help her therefore I posted to get advice from cybershrink not you, and no its not about me! I have never dealt with something like this so if you dont have any proper advice to give rather dont post your little snide comments. You obviously dont have a friend you grew up and thats why you dont understand the helplessness one feels when your friend is breaking in pieces and doesnt want to listen to you!!!! Her other friend leaves her at home alone all day cos she has to work....so where is the help in that. If you are bored go play somewhere else not on a site where people need help so back off!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm sure everyone, including Liza, fully recognizes how awful it feels when a friend seems to be starting to self-destruct and you can't find any way to be as helpful as you would want to be. I think what she was responding to, which is well worth your while considering rather than taking too much offense at, was the feeling your message created that you were almost more upset that your friend was trusting and listening to someone else rather than you, when it should probably have been pleasing that at least she was listening to anyone not actively harmful to her, and it would have been more useful to think about how to work with this other person to persuade your friend to get the help she so obviously needs.

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Our users say:
Posted by: not sure | 2012/04/18

my message was not at all meant to intend that I was feeling offended, but if it was taken that way then there is obviously way too much analysing going on here on the wrong person. It was more about my friend and her issue. Which now I understand why my friend does not want to seek help from a psycholgist/psychiatrist. Thanks for making it clear and I will let her other friend give her the ''''happy pills"  shes currently giving her and apparently she feels better. Take care:)

Reply to not sure
Posted by: not sure 2 | 2012/04/18

My friend posted on here to get help for our dear friend who is suffering. The only reason we are upset is because she is not wanting help and has gone to stay with a person none of us really know and whom she only knows for a couple of years and helped her calm down by giving her tablets which she takes herself. Now as far as i know, only a psychiatrist is meant to do that, as I have been in the same boat a long time ago. This has nothing to do with taking offense that she didn''t want our help but more to do with not accepting any help in the right direction. And as far as im concerned when you are in Depression , psychosis or schizophrenia etc, you should not be left alone at home or on your own. We ARE really worried about her and obviously we want to help her not ourselves. If there are any comments other than advice then im not interested as its hurtful to see someone you love go through this. This is a matter close to our hearts and when people make judgements without knowing the whole story it is offensive.

Reply to not sure 2
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/18

I'm sure everyone, including Liza, fully recognizes how awful it feels when a friend seems to be starting to self-destruct and you can't find any way to be as helpful as you would want to be. I think what she was responding to, which is well worth your while considering rather than taking too much offense at, was the feeling your message created that you were almost more upset that your friend was trusting and listening to someone else rather than you, when it should probably have been pleasing that at least she was listening to anyone not actively harmful to her, and it would have been more useful to think about how to work with this other person to persuade your friend to get the help she so obviously needs.

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