Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-04-29

To have a baby or not?

Dear CS,

My husband and I are currently married for 5 months. Prior to that, we have been dating for 9 years. I' m 27 in June, and he' ll be 30 in May. Recently, I' ve been thinking a lot about trying for a baby. We' re both in good, stable jobs, own our own home, and are fairly self-sufficient.

How do I know if it' s the right time? Is it too soon in our marriage to be thinking of children? Every time I see a child I feel ' broody'  but how do I differentiate between truly knowing this is what I want, or wanting it based on other people, and not feeling that I am running ' out of time'  so to speak.

Your advice will be appreciated.

P.S When discussed with my husband, his response is ' If you want one, then we can have one' .

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Our expert says:
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A, we canot advise anyone whether or not they should have a baby. You are wise to mpause and think hard about such a decision --- far too many people seem to get pregnant without thinking through the consequences. There may be Wrong Times to have a baby, but I'm not sure what are the markers of the Right Time --- you seem to describe a situation in which it should be practical --- IF you both want not only a baby but a child, and the ontinuing responsibilities that entails. Your huband sounds agreeable but not eager.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Philna | 2009-04-29

if you and your hubby agree on it , then I dont see a problem with that .You might have only been married for 5 months but you ' ve known each other for 9 years which is a long time , you should know each other very well by now . There is no right time or wrong time to have a baby, it depends on how ready are you. By the look of things it looks like things are pretty stable , financially and otherwise . having a baby have certian implications which you should consider but if you are prepared for one . then fgo for one .

Reply to Philna
Posted by: Liza | 2009-04-29

Your child will be very fortunate to have a parent so concerned about doing the right thing. If you' re not sure about having a baby, try to chat to a counsellor about it. Financially it sounds like there won' t be a problem. If you' ve discussed all the ' cons'  with your husband (and ensure that the division of work for the baby will be equitable) and decide that you still want a child, I don' t forsee any problems.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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