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Posted by: Emily | 2012/07/23

To Cybershrink

Dear Cybershrink
I was so angry when I wrote to you in the past because my situation seemed impossible. A small thing happened at my job and it broke the camel''s back. I just exploded. Not good. Strangely enough they asked me what they can do to fix it. The problem is that my trust is broken. I bit back and told them I would not resign no matter what they do. I agreed to try the " new"  way of treating staff. Let''s see.

I also lost it at home and told my mother that we have to separate because I have to find myself or she will lose me forever because I am losing myself. I do not know where the words came from but they came out. I went to my friend who is 64 so a lot older and cried and cried and cried. She has known me a long time and she said she is not surprised because my whole life (a good 14 years past) has been picking up the pieces after family drama. I said I have never had a chance to actually take a job I wanted it was always a crisis decision. She pointed out that I had to move on no matter what (i.e. no time to process a broken relationship of 13 years either), crisis to crisis to crisis. My mother has now agreed she will move into an Abbeyfield home or a Communicare home as soon as it becomes available. This time it is for real. My friends are saying Hurrah. My step uncle who is my only family said he is so glad because I need a chance to live. I am glad because as I said to my mom she needs to live with people her own age, she needs that support, she needs to engage and she needs to be secure even if I wasn''t there. I will stand behind there and be there for her I re-assured her. I willl.

I said I am in a very bad space. I have depression. Cipralex did not work. I feel ready to crack. I told my Dr. how I really feel. They may be admitting me to rule out organic factors because I keep leaching my iron and I am on HRT so do not bleed. I am afraid because I think it has something to do with my tum, I hope at worst ulcers.

I hate the way in SA that the elderly have few AFFORDABLE options. I hate the way that companies get away with murder literally because they know we are all desperate for jobs. I wish somebody could meaningfully do something about this.

Anyway I no longer suffer in silence. At least I can reduce my expenses and find me again. I guess despite my anger some of the advice sunk in. I think it is wrong and not admirable to sacrifice your life for your parents.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear broken-backed camel,
Sounds as though you are beginning to see chinks of light amidst the encircling gloom. Don't be either too trusting or too mistrustful. See a counsellor to work on how to draw useful rather than unhelpful conclusions from all your experiences, how to strengthen your ability to handle stresses in life ahead, and how to make the best use of new opportunities now. Do see a psychiatrist for a thorough assessment and a discussion of treatment options - Cipralex is over-prescriebd by some docs, and is very far from being the only alternative.
Maybe, as your anger subsides and you find more satisfying alternatives in life, you might become one of those who can work towards increased justice for the many who suffer from the injustices you correctly identify.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/23

Dear broken-backed camel,
Sounds as though you are beginning to see chinks of light amidst the encircling gloom. Don't be either too trusting or too mistrustful. See a counsellor to work on how to draw useful rather than unhelpful conclusions from all your experiences, how to strengthen your ability to handle stresses in life ahead, and how to make the best use of new opportunities now. Do see a psychiatrist for a thorough assessment and a discussion of treatment options - Cipralex is over-prescriebd by some docs, and is very far from being the only alternative.
Maybe, as your anger subsides and you find more satisfying alternatives in life, you might become one of those who can work towards increased justice for the many who suffer from the injustices you correctly identify.

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