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Question
Posted by: desire | 2010-03-23

to be or not to be

i am in a relationship, we have been together for 9 years and only recently moved into our own place, we have a beautiful son together. i feel frustrated and do not know what to do anymore. my fiancé  says that i am not showing any love from my side but how can i show and give him love if there is nothing from his side. he always gets mad if he does`nt get sex. i feel tired because i`m the one that`s keeping this relationship together and i`m the one who is " giving the love" . i dont know what to do. i have allot of things that is bothering me, stuff that happened to me in the past and it`s always on my mind and he does`nt understand that. we spoke about this before. nothing i do ever seems to be good enough in his eyes. he accuses me of stuff that is not true. i recently found out that he has been looking around on dating sites, i confronted him and he said that it feels like i`m going to run away with another guy and that he wants to beat me to it. do i continue fighting or do i give up and move on?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm surprised you two have spent so long together without recognizing that marriage counselling / couples counselling may be really needed to try to sort out all your unresolved issues. And is not clear whether the one argument you allude to is about giving love, or giving sex. See a counsellor together and see what you can work out, either to find a happier way to be together, or to separate with the implications fully thought out

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2010-03-23

Not to be funny or negative. But after 9 years, one would expect you guys to be batting on the same team? Seems you are not, so you guys have serious issues to adress. You obviously can''t continue living like this for another 9 years.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-03-23

I'm surprised you two have spent so long together without recognizing that marriage counselling / couples counselling may be really needed to try to sort out all your unresolved issues. And is not clear whether the one argument you allude to is about giving love, or giving sex. See a counsellor together and see what you can work out, either to find a happier way to be together, or to separate with the implications fully thought out

Reply to cybershrink

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