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Question
Posted by: @@@ | 2008/06/20

to all the ladies!

hi

how important do u regard Sex in a relationship, u get all the qualities in a partner but he is not active as you want him to be, sometimes u don't even make love for period of 3 weeks but see each other every weekend.

can this be because he smoke and drink alchohol ??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Actually, I think there are several questions packed in that short message, aren't there ? How im portant is sex in a relationship ? Well, that's a very personal issue --- for some people, it's central to the relationship, for many its a very nice part of it, for some its relatively unimportant. And because we all vary in the extent and nature of our libido and sexual desire, this is an area where it is convenient for both partners within a relationship to be compatible. Now compatible isn't identical, but both being able to understand and accomodate the other.
But you also seem to be asking about your partner who seems to have a relatively low libido and less interest in sex. This could be simply a naturally lower libido or one lowered by Depression or stress, or maybe he has some form of sexual difficulty, such as erection problems, which can be greatly improved with help from a shrink. Both aspects can easily be impaired by smoking and drinking ; by smoking perhaps in the longer term, as even a one-night drunk can be interested in sex but incapable of performing.
ALl of us, men especially, feel shy and awkward about any sort of sexual problem --- talking this over calmly and comfortingly with him could help in himself, and when you understand what is reducing his interest, he could get help for that, for the benefit of both of you

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Our users say:
Posted by: T | 2008/06/20

to me sex isnt the be all or end all of a relationship...having said that, sex is important. not just the physical aspect, but also the mental and emotional. you need to connect on that level. i need it atleast once a week ( actually still not enough!). my man has a problem, sex isnt always a spur of the moment thing, needs to be planned. and yes there are vibrators, but thats a bit sad. you need that connection

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