Our expert says:
I dont think you're actually talking about step-parenting, but about how some men are, for whatever reason, rather lousy dads ( just as some women are awful mothers ).
As you say, if you marry someone with existing children, it's a package deal, and you'd expect the same from them if you already had children.
Above all, none of the problems are the children's fault, and they should not be made to suffer for them.
Maybe you're describing an uncaring or less caring, unskilled father and husband.
Yes, a step-parent must be given the same respect, care, and rights as a biological parent.
When considering a relationship with someone with existing children, one useful guide is that if they don't obviously treat their children with love, time and respect, they'll not for long treat you much better
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