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Question
Posted by: Bb | 2012/09/20

Tired of my life

I am at my wits end! Financially we are buggered and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, except for one huge assed train. We don''t live extravagantly as we cannot afford to, never go out, eat out etc. An outing for my children is a drive to the shop! I run like a mad thing after the children for sport, school etc and hubby takes no responsibility in that department....in fact he never leaves the house once home from work. This annoys me immensly. He goes to work, comes home and that is where his responsibilities end. Everything else is up to me. I have a child who excells at sport and cos of the finances I have to stop her from swimming which is her passion...how do I explain that to a little girl who lives for her sport? I am already on meds for panic attacks and now anti depressants (which I will have to stop as medical aid won''t pay and I can''t afford it)....nothing is working and life seems to be getting worse. Can''t discuss anything with hubby, ends in a fight but I can''t keep fighting this fight on my own. It also kills me inside that my children are ridiculed at school cos of their clothing. Each month gets progressively worse than the last one and I just can''t face it anymore! I battle to understand how some people are flying high with fancy cars, expensive clothes, eating out and going out and we are battling so badly! Where the hell have I gone wrong????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Pity if your hubby isnt effectively sharing the buirdens and loads. Cant the school possibly help with some form of scholarship to help your little swimmer ?
Antidepressants are usually the best meds for panic attacks, too. Its wrong of med aid not to pay for such necessary meds. Check whether you can access a provincial / state hospital or clinic, where the meds might be free to you. I share your suspicions as to how some people manage to get so much money to spend, and also wonder whether some of it wasn't once upon a time, mine ! But that sort of person usually comes a cropper in the end, and you'll catch up to them. But do get the help you deserve. Maybe SADAG can offer some advice, too, including possibly support groups.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2012/09/21

I know the feeling. You are not alone.
Start calmly by approaching the school first in order to see if you can get the schoolfees subsidised. (Do not be ashamed of this, your husband pays tax every month and others are stealing it to live the high life). There is a way you can get the fees reduced. Then find out ifthe school has a thrift shop. Schools often do. Parents donate too small school clothing and they sell it for a small amount. They will even give it to you for free.
Like CS says, go to a Government hospital, see a Dr and get your medication for free, 6 months in advance. The biggest percentage of SA does this, so again, do not feel ashamed. After all, your husband is paying tax every month to subsidise this.
As far a the child''s swimming is concerned, luckily it is not a sport where expensive equipment is required so let the child continue swimming for the school (at no extra cost) if he she is meant to be spotted and sponsored, it will happen.
Be easy on hubby, just reading about your concerns here I can just imagine the stress and resentment he must feel for not eing able to care for his family better...... good luck

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/20

Pity if your hubby isnt effectively sharing the buirdens and loads. Cant the school possibly help with some form of scholarship to help your little swimmer ?
Antidepressants are usually the best meds for panic attacks, too. Its wrong of med aid not to pay for such necessary meds. Check whether you can access a provincial / state hospital or clinic, where the meds might be free to you. I share your suspicions as to how some people manage to get so much money to spend, and also wonder whether some of it wasn't once upon a time, mine ! But that sort of person usually comes a cropper in the end, and you'll catch up to them. But do get the help you deserve. Maybe SADAG can offer some advice, too, including possibly support groups.

Reply to cybershrink

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