Our expert says:
Headaches and earache ( especially ) are unusual side-effects of ADs. The sort of drug he may have used in his attack on you commonly causes amnesia for the duration of their effects. Is this why you did not lay criminal charges against him ? Your description sounds as though you do remember at least some of what went on.
Other than kids, stop taking care of everyone else, and start properly taking care of yourself. And stop beating yourself up for having believed that your ex had changed ( met any spotless leopards lately ? ) - and simply resolve to never allow that to happen again and move ahead.
And make sure a Maintenance Court fixes a proper sum of maintenance for your ex to have to pay for the sake of the kids.
And you did NOT deserve what you got, though you must learn from it not to believe highly unlikely claims from a louse like your ex.
As Eric says, check out support services for rape / assault victims, and groups like POWA for abused women. THis could help you to find help without the high costs you wish to avoid
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