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Question
Posted by: Kitty | 2012/02/22

Tired - follow up

Well, he likes to coochie coo about his boy and play with him, but when he starts to cry, he''ll call me to come and get him because " he wants his mother" . My mother is dead, and his mother still works, so she can''t just always watch the baby. Feeding at night? him? I don''t think so. I love him very much, but man he makes me angry sometimes. A lot of small little things that get under my skin, so I try to concentrate on the big things he does do and try to appreciate them. It''s so sad, but the way I used to get knots in my stomach before asking my father for something when I was young, same thing happens now with my husband. He''s a bit on the conservative side of the fence, so I struggle with him. He likes to sit in front of the tv like a couch potatoe, because that''s the way he relaxes...it''s his thing, and I grant him that time cos he really works hard, but that''s not what relaxes me, so what should I do? He doesn''t want me going around the block with the stroller by my self, but he doesn''t want to join me either. So.....tricky situation. It''s a case of, I don''t want to discuss this with him, because I already know what he''s gonna say....so why even waist my breath. In the meantime I''m tired, emotional and unhappy, but hey, as long as the husband is living like a king, who am I to complain right?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Remind him that you both need to learn to understand why a baby may be crying, and it needs a parent, not necessarily only a mother. Men often feel ham-handed and are scared they'll do something wrong. Fortunately, kids are far more resilient than guys think.
Its fair enough for him to want time to relax, but he needs to recognize that you also need time to relax. You BOTH work really hard. If he really wont accompany you on a stroll with the stroller (remind him that you love him so much, you want his heart to stay healthy with good exercise !) maybe suggest you look for one of those exercise machines where you can walk in one place. At the cost for one of those gadgets, he may prefer to go for a walk outside with you !
Maybe to some extent you're giving up, bu anticipating his negative response, so you stop asking him. Maybe there are more cunning and pleasant ways to ask him, and to pleasantly persist and not just acept all his evasions.
Also, mabe, remember Lysistrata, the ancient Greek woman whu stopped a wat by getting all the women to agree to provide no sex until the war stopped. Maybe suggest thatg much as you love him, this way you're far too tired to face having sex, so if he helps share the load and let you get more sleep, you'll be likely to become more interested in enjoying sex with him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/22

Remind him that you both need to learn to understand why a baby may be crying, and it needs a parent, not necessarily only a mother. Men often feel ham-handed and are scared they'll do something wrong. Fortunately, kids are far more resilient than guys think.
Its fair enough for him to want time to relax, but he needs to recognize that you also need time to relax. You BOTH work really hard. If he really wont accompany you on a stroll with the stroller (remind him that you love him so much, you want his heart to stay healthy with good exercise !) maybe suggest you look for one of those exercise machines where you can walk in one place. At the cost for one of those gadgets, he may prefer to go for a walk outside with you !
Maybe to some extent you're giving up, bu anticipating his negative response, so you stop asking him. Maybe there are more cunning and pleasant ways to ask him, and to pleasantly persist and not just acept all his evasions.
Also, mabe, remember Lysistrata, the ancient Greek woman whu stopped a wat by getting all the women to agree to provide no sex until the war stopped. Maybe suggest thatg much as you love him, this way you're far too tired to face having sex, so if he helps share the load and let you get more sleep, you'll be likely to become more interested in enjoying sex with him.

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