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Question
Posted by: Kitty | 2012-02-22

Tired

Hi Doc. I need some advice. I''m very conflicted these days. My first child is now 3 1/2 months old, he''s just the sweetest thing ever. Problem is, I can''t seem to get enough sleep. I''m constantly so tired, I''d sleep on the floor in my office if given the chance. I''m trying to be active, but I''m just too tired. I''ve done absolutely no work at all this whole week, I can''t get going. My husband is a very static person, spends A LOT of time in front of the tele, watching news and all kinds of informative matter, but I can''t go and walk with the dogs, or take baby for a stroll, because " it''s too dangerous" , everything with him is too dagerous. Plus, my house depresses me. I''ve stopped talking about it with hubby cos he gets kind of angry with me, as " we at least have a roof over our heads, and it''s where we are and nothing we can do about it" . I used to cycle...can''t do that anymore cos ... " its too dangerous" . So it feels like im cooped up in my depressing houe like a budgy in a cage. Spending a lot of time with baby at home, don''t mind cos he''s very precious. I just need to 1. get some sleep...2. get out of the house at into nature a bit you know, it''s good for my soul. The tiredness, combined with all the other factors, just lately makes me feel like I''m losing grip. I work, go home, make dinner, busy with baby''s things until bath time, feeding time, go to bed, get up during the night to feed baby, get up, take him to creche, go to work....and the cycle goes on. Nothing to look forward to, just going through each day, week in week out, just like an instinctive routine. Tears are constantly on the brink of bursting out, but I try to keep it in, cos hubby doesn''t cope well with me crying, and usually makes me feel like i''m an idiot for crying over spilled milk...although he does not know he makes me feel like that. When you''re tired, it''s hard to keep tears away. In 14 weeks, since baby was born, he was left with granny 2 times, for not more than 3 or so hours. That''s how little we go out and do things.I don''t know what to do anymore. Please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It doesn't sound as though your husband is really pulling his weight in terms of charing the household chores and child care chores. Why can't he take over babycare duties for 2 nights at a time, so you can catch up on sleep loss ? Cant he make dinner some nights, feed baby ( unless you're breast-feeding ) and so on ?
Apart from tiredness, all the hectic hormonal changes make one irritable , tired and possibly depressed as well. Can't granny help more often, too ? Maybe she'd be pleased to do so ?
What do our other experienced moms suggest ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Pixie | 2012-02-22

I agree with CS, I don''t think your husband is pulling his weight. I don''t think it is fair that you have to try and do this on your own (it seems) without your husband helping out. He helped to conceive the baby and he definitely needs to get up and be more involved. This is not the 1950''s anymore!!!

I don''t know what to say about your husband keeping you couped up, maybe he is just being overprotective, but in terms of the baby, he can definitely do more!

You must be able to communicate your feelings to your husband and delegate responsibility to him!

Reply to Pixie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-02-22

It doesn't sound as though your husband is really pulling his weight in terms of charing the household chores and child care chores. Why can't he take over babycare duties for 2 nights at a time, so you can catch up on sleep loss ? Cant he make dinner some nights, feed baby ( unless you're breast-feeding ) and so on ?
Apart from tiredness, all the hectic hormonal changes make one irritable , tired and possibly depressed as well. Can't granny help more often, too ? Maybe she'd be pleased to do so ?
What do our other experienced moms suggest ?

Reply to cybershrink

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