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Question
Posted by: NotMeantToBe? | 2011/03/07

This may be it...

My life in a space of 2 months: He''s practically almost always has an annoyed tone when he speaks to me. Communication has hit a barrier, he does not participate, I talk he doesnt respond. He''s called me childish, mad. having a " f***ed up"  mind, stupid, etc. Lately, he''s accused me of having an affair and using muti on him. Then on his birthday, he came home from work around 6:30pm, changed, wore perfume and left. Only got back around 10pm. Then an sms came in around that time. A fight ensued and he hit me, mostly on the head. I was hospitalised for 2 nights, no word from him during that time. So I''m back home, he''s not talking to me - no " how are you feeling" , no " sorry" , no word. I told him I regret what happened, no response.
As much as I believe in marriage being forever, I think mine has hit rock bottom. I cannot work on it alone, my partner is completely disengaged. The thought of leaving give me more hope than staying in a cold house.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're describing a spouse who may indeed be being unfaithful, and is being about as unhelpful as he could be. As the assault was apparently serious, consider laying criminal charges against him, to remind him that spouse battering is unacceptable and criminal. THIS sort of marriage should not be forever. See a counsellor, perhaps from POWA or some similar group for abused women and plan a safe exit, as well as consulting a lawyer.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mzulu | 2011/03/07

Cmon guys, people like RM should not be responded to as they just want to create a debate of ther own. They don''t really believe/mean wat they saying. It can be fun though minus the insults.

Reply to Mzulu
Posted by: Roller | 2011/03/07

Real man how old are you? if you over 40 their''s no point going further with you, so to be a real man it means you must smell like hobo? maybe in 18 century or BC.

Reply to Roller
Posted by: REAL MAN | 2011/03/07

Raxy is right real men only wear aftershave not perfume or cologne.
As a man l would not approve of dropping my car off with a sweet smelling mechanic or having my sink plumed in by a plumber smelling of flowers.
When dating men women should follow their noses. Men smelling of florals are probably not good bets.

Reply to REAL MAN
Posted by: ATL | 2011/03/07

Raxy what kind of man are you dating? yes we wear cologne and i don''t own one, or you only date plumbers and mechanics?

Reply to ATL
Posted by: Raxy | 2011/03/07

Your husband wears perfume....this alone would be reason to run away fast.
Real men may well wear aftershave but not perfume.Have you ever suspected him of using your makeup or borrowing your clothes?

Reply to Raxy
Posted by: Lin | 2011/03/07

It''s over, get a divorce. You are worth more than this. There''s just no excuse for hitting someone! And you ended up in hospital!!!
See a counsellor to help you through this difficult time. Keep strong!

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Phil | 2011/03/07

Any relationship with physicall violance is bad  get out and fast.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Mzulu | 2011/03/07

I''m sorry to raed about your abuse and Ja its definately over. He doesn''t love or respect you anymore. For future purposes when you post, it always helps if you mention the Age and the number of years married/in a r/ship/
Keep strong and pray.

Reply to Mzulu
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/07

You're describing a spouse who may indeed be being unfaithful, and is being about as unhelpful as he could be. As the assault was apparently serious, consider laying criminal charges against him, to remind him that spouse battering is unacceptable and criminal. THIS sort of marriage should not be forever. See a counsellor, perhaps from POWA or some similar group for abused women and plan a safe exit, as well as consulting a lawyer.

Reply to cybershrink

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