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Question
Posted by: Disco | 2012/02/16

This is not working

I am in a relationship with a women with two young kids, I pretend as if I am fine with the kids but deep down i cannot stand the idea of spending my whole life with another men''s children, I have decided that the best thing to do is to stop the relationship but my partner will not listen.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe she wont listen because of your pretending, and maybe also because she doesn't want to hear of potential problems. But if you genuinely have a hang-up about "another man's children" she MUST know and face this fact. A woman and her children are a package deal.
If you can't accept that, leave, for the kids sake above all, for her sake, and, yes, for your sake too

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: In motion | 2012/02/17

Tell her the truth, the sooner the better so she can move on to the person who will accept her with the kids. You shouldnt have lied to her in the first place.

Reply to In motion
Posted by: Angel | 2012/02/16

Be honest and tell her how you feel about the kids. It will hurt and she may hate you, but she will eventually get over it. If the kids are a problem and you cannot accept them, best you leave the relationship. Don''t lie to her. If you cannot or will not accept her kids, then you should not have her either. They come as a package.

Reply to Angel
Posted by: Do this | 2012/02/16

Tell her she is fat ugly stupid ,you have fallen in love with a man. Any thing to burn bridges - make it so awful she will let you go.

Reply to Do this
Posted by: Phil | 2012/02/16

Do what is right for the kids  they have no choice in this. And they never asked to be here in the first place.. If you can''t be a good stepdad to them  and be nice to them. Then get out. It''s the right thing to do. Try and make it another excuse  you don''t want to make the mother resent her kids either.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/16

Maybe she wont listen because of your pretending, and maybe also because she doesn't want to hear of potential problems. But if you genuinely have a hang-up about "another man's children" she MUST know and face this fact. A woman and her children are a package deal.
If you can't accept that, leave, for the kids sake above all, for her sake, and, yes, for your sake too

Reply to cybershrink

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