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Question
Posted by: Christinah | 2010/08/05

this happens in the movies - i cant breathe

Ok, i''m alright, i just need to share this with people i don''t know!!! I was involved with a man who was no good, doesnt pay maintenance, a cheater, had a child with him, seeks money from me (to perform rituals - i wrote about it) and so on... I''ve refused to give him the money and i''m demanding the money i borrowed him back so now we were fighting and it got so bad to a point where he told me that he is " with my friend at some mall and they will be going home to have sex" ! It didn''t come as a surprise because I''ve suspected that he was doing that although i concluded to thinking that i was being naive! I was so insecured when i was with him because of the many relationships he had (cheated) and i suspected EVERY female that was around him until I decided to end the relationship as i felt that i couldn''t live like that! He was just messing with my head - i had panic attacks, anxiety, to sum it up I was in HELL!

I am a little bit hurt and I actually couldn''t care as i am currently in a meaningful relationship with someone that loves me and appreciates my child!!! I promised myself that i wasn''t going to loose sleep about that but i did and i don''t understand why? I really don''t want this issue to be the only thing i think about, i''ve been through this before and i don''t want to go through it again!

Sorry, i just had to tell someone!
Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

And he thought that threatening to go off and have sex with someone else, was a smart move when you were telling him to repay money he had borrowed from you ? Its now even more clear how wise it is to get out of any sort of relatonship with him. He's a bad habit you are giving up, like smoking, and it'll take a while to work out of your system. When thoughts about him or anger towards him, pop up, don't beat yourself up about it, just swat the thoughts away like an annoying fly, and start thinking about something more useful

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Christinah | 2010/08/10

Thank you ladies - point taken!

Reply to Christinah
Posted by: Lovey | 2010/08/06

Well Christinah say whatever you want the truth is, just because he is your baby daddy doesnt mean you should be taking interest in each other''s life, u can be civil to each other for the sake of the child, that means call each other when u arranging visits etc..believe it or not Iam a mother myself and i have a baby daddy but we just civil to each other, what he does with his life and who he sleeps with is none of my business and he will never discuss such with me cos he knows where to draw the line..

As Huh said, clearly now u can do without that money, and in ur last post you did mention that he is not working so where do u expect him to get the money from now..Hence i say my sister u are just seeking for his attention and as u said u loved him dearly hence u had a baby with him, maybe u should change that loved(past tense) to love(present tense) and want him back..

He doesnt want u, and thats the reason he is telling you that he is sleeping with your friend so that u can give up and let him go..Truth hurts neh..

No need to justify my dear it ur life that u wasting running after ur ex, u are the one who cant breath, and wherever he is, be rest assured he is breathing very well.

Reply to Lovey
Posted by: christinah | 2010/08/05

huh, lovey - he calls me! anyway i don''t have to justify anything to you guys! believe whatever you want! at least i know that i''m real with myself thats it!

Reply to christinah
Posted by: Huh | 2010/08/05

You would start breathing once you stop phoning (or disguising): I am sure you do not need the money: You should be fighting for Child support, not failed relationship payback money!

Reply to Huh
Posted by: Christinah | 2010/08/05

Hi Lovey

there are 3 facts here: he is my baby''s father - that won''t change (unfortunately)
- i was at some point hoping that we''d make things work for our child''s sake
3 - i loved him dearly - that''s why i had a child with him in the first place!

Now, he has taken advantage of him because i had a soft spot for him but now that i''ve put my foot down - he blows this: i am going to have sex with your friend stunt - what person in their right mind would do that - he can clearly see that i am not falling for him anymore so he tries to hurt me! Give me one good reason why i should let go of the money owed to me, especially because he doesn''t pay maintenace - this is for the past 6 years!

Reply to Christinah
Posted by: Lovey | 2010/08/05

Hayi sisi wena ufunani kulendoda? To me it seem like u havent close this chapter, it clear that he wont give u ur money so why run after him..If i didnt know better i would sy u still want him back..if not then pls let it go.

Reply to Lovey
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/05

And he thought that threatening to go off and have sex with someone else, was a smart move when you were telling him to repay money he had borrowed from you ? Its now even more clear how wise it is to get out of any sort of relatonship with him. He's a bad habit you are giving up, like smoking, and it'll take a while to work out of your system. When thoughts about him or anger towards him, pop up, don't beat yourself up about it, just swat the thoughts away like an annoying fly, and start thinking about something more useful

Reply to cybershrink

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