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Question
Posted by: nn | 2010/03/23

This guy is making me crazy!!!!

I need some advise please. I have been seeing a guy for 6 and a half months now. We recently took a break for a month because things were getting a bit too much for us. Before the break, he had his ex wife contacting him every day to beg for him to take her back. He managed to sleep with her and he just generally treated me like rubbish. Ok so after the month apart he told me that I was the best thing that has happened to him in the past year and how he missed me and could not move on with his life because he just wants to be with me. He told me how he would go and check up on me on Facebook and drive past my house hoping that he will see me. Ok so I forgave him for the past and we decided to have a fresh start. I forgave him for cheating and all the hurtful things he did. But right now I still feel unhappy and not sure of what to do. We went to my auntie 2 weekends ago for a braai and he was drunk and said a lot of dirty things (to do with me and him and sex). And when I approached him about it, he said he was joking. Well my conservative family did not appreciate his behaviour. Also lately when we go out he always has to be the loudest and thinks he is God’ s gift to women. He will lift up his shirt and rub his nipples and will flirt with every woman there. He ignores me and then takes pics of these women and then sends them to his friends. I try and not let it bother me but it does. Last week he even admitted that before he met me, he was sleeping with 8 women at once. I actually do not know what to do because I really do like this guy but the past that he has had is really dodgy. And then he tells me that all his female friends sms him and ask him to take them out to dinner and then he said that he contemplates taking them out because he is confused and not sure where he is going with anything. How is that suppose to make me feel???? It makes me feel like he is dating me but keeping his options open. I am so heart sore and full of these mixed up feelings. And all of this anger that I have inside of me for him is starting to make me depressed. I am no longer the confident person that I used to be. I am paranoid that he is going to cheat on me. I even suspect that I have an STD from him. I can see my anger coming out –  I am short tempered with everyone. I have this horrible attitude to everyone including him and I land up saying these nasty hurtful things to him in order to make myself feel better. I am 26 and a total mess. I have this 41yr old making me second guess myself. I do not have medical aid and cannot afford to see a shrink. Are there any pills that I can get prescribed by the doctor in order for me to feel less anxious and depressed????? I know he was married for 20 yrs and has this new found freedom but it feels like I am just an option and I feel like I cannot take him out or even introduce him to my friends because I am scared he flirts with them.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why on earth are you still with this guy ? He apparently maintains a murky relationship with his Ex ( an Ex ought to be EX ) He cheats on you and sounds like a creepy stalker. Then you think he may, among all his girlfriends, have given you an STD ? Why on earth are you so desperate as to setting for this little ?
No pills can help a situation like this - you need to change the situation. Show more pride in yourself, dump him, and move on, and before long you will find yourself feeling much better

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: kk | 2010/03/23

i was in the same boot as you, i promise you it was hell the first few weeks after leaving him, but eventualy you regain your strength and energy back. he doesn''t deserve you grl.

Reply to kk
Posted by: Lira | 2010/03/23

you are 26 whyon earth are you with a 41yrss old man who treats you badly. Why when you re so youngand you have a whole ife ahead of you.? Why are you settling for an old man? aren''t there cute ad successful, career-driven 29yr olds guys where you are? Oh women why do we have o act so desperate for men, this is the reason why men treats women like they are nothing, people with no value when we have so much going for ourselves. We smart, beautiful, understanding, caring etc tlist goes on. Leave the uy and never look back...and usea condom plleeaassee

Reply to Lira
Posted by: reality check | 2010/03/23

please run to the doctor for an hiv test!

Reply to reality check
Posted by: reality check | 2010/03/23

please run to the doctor for an hiv test!

Reply to reality check
Posted by: Lady | 2010/03/23

You do not deserve to be treated in this manner - no woman does. Do not allow him to humiliate you especially infront of your friends and family. Rather get out now before you get even more attached and more feelings develop (if thats possible). I dont think age is the problem. I am 25 and my partner 40 we have a wonderful relationship, there is mutual respect and understanding. Each situation is unique. I think its more about maturity.

You deserver better though. Good Luck.

Reply to Lady
Posted by: LBoogie | 2010/03/23

Just leave him, he is too old for you anyway. You need a caring guy to take care of you. If he slept with his ex-wife once, he will definately be doing it again. Just one question, why are you so insecure? Surely you know, you can do way better than him!!!

Reply to LBoogie
Posted by: Me | 2010/03/23

HE is just stringing you along and will never have you as his wife. My dear he is not good for you, you have no choice but to dump his sorry a*s and move on with your life. He''s been married for 20yrs or so and you are only strarting with your life. This man has lived his life and he wants to destroy yours. Run before it''s too late.

Reply to Me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/23

Why on earth are you still with this guy ? He apparently maintains a murky relationship with his Ex ( an Ex ought to be EX ) He cheats on you and sounds like a creepy stalker. Then you think he may, among all his girlfriends, have given you an STD ? Why on earth are you so desperate as to setting for this little ?
No pills can help a situation like this - you need to change the situation. Show more pride in yourself, dump him, and move on, and before long you will find yourself feeling much better

Reply to cybershrink

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