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Question
Posted by: Layla | 2011/02/28

This Guy

Hi CS

I walk past this guy most days and one day he struck up a conversation with me.Spoke for about a minute, he asked my name and where I work which I answered (no harm in it, just conversation) Anyhow a week later I get a call on my work number from him...we chatted for about 5mins.
I kept my answers short to indicate I wasn''t interested.
He would ask a question and I would just answer yes or no etc.
He did say he was sorry if he upset me by calling me even though I never gave him my number, I said its fine I''m not upset just suprised.

The next day he called me again same thing, then the same day he called again but I rejected the call.
Today he calls me from his home, saying I might not see him today he just wanted to speak to me, find out how I''m doing, my weekend etc.

Now he hasn''t told me he is interested in me in any way or hasn''t asked me anything personal that I felt he was crossing the line. I do have a bf and we getting married in August.
I am not in the least bit interested in this guy but havn''t told him I have a bf because he never once asked. So from the begining I decided that he could continue wasting his airtime because I kind of feel he an audacity to call me like this and not once think that I might be involved... I mean there could only be so many reason he contacted me in the first place.

I''m not angry with him, he seems like a nice guy but if you interested in someone shouldn''t you first find out if they with someone else before continuing anything?
Should I tell him the next time he calls or should I just let him continue until he asks me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is always wise to SAY, in actual words, if you are not interested, rather than expecting the other guy to guess it. Why are you being coy towards him ? When he asked about your weekend, you could easily have mentioned something about seeing or speaking to your fiancee. Why does he have to ask you specifically ? He can reasonably assume you are unattached because you continue to behave as though unattached and because you don't tell him otherwise.
I think you are enjoying the attention. There was no audacity in him calling you ; its much more inconsiderate for you to keep leading him on. What is this, a punishment by wasting airtime, for daring to speak pleasantly to you ?
I really cannot understand, at all, why you feel he has an obligation to ask you specifically, while you have a right to keep it secret. It is you who are being unreasonable towards him. Tell him the truth at the next opportunity, and do so pleasantly, in the way I suggested

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7
Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2011/02/28

This is an amazing post from someone who believes they have the maturity to marry someone. I cannot believe an engaged woman can behave so childishly!

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Mother | 2011/02/28

Candice
I am running out of patience with you. I have commented on your posts 999,992. You are hardly in a position to advise anyone! If you fail matric you will only have yourself to blame!
X Mum

Reply to Mother
Posted by: Candice | 2011/02/28

Why must people be kids, do your kids have relationships like this that you can say it? Well, you better watch your kids then!!!!! You cant tell someone they immature because someone is flirting with them...gees!

You all should go get some!!! its clear to see you guys have never been in this situation! Not for kids, kids shouldnt even be doing these things but you compare her to a kid

Reply to Candice
Posted by: Eish | 2011/02/28

..and this kid is getting married in August Lol! Some people don''t really know what to post here hey...Hoe oud is jy Layla?

Reply to Eish
Posted by: Liane | 2011/02/28

Children should not be allowed on this site...

Reply to Liane
Posted by: Romany | 2011/02/28

By accepting his calls and chatting to him you have basically given him the go-ahead to call you. You have created the impression thatr you are available.
You should have told him the very fisrt time that you are involved and do not appreciate the unasked for attention.
Do this asap when next he calls you.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/28

It is always wise to SAY, in actual words, if you are not interested, rather than expecting the other guy to guess it. Why are you being coy towards him ? When he asked about your weekend, you could easily have mentioned something about seeing or speaking to your fiancee. Why does he have to ask you specifically ? He can reasonably assume you are unattached because you continue to behave as though unattached and because you don't tell him otherwise.
I think you are enjoying the attention. There was no audacity in him calling you ; its much more inconsiderate for you to keep leading him on. What is this, a punishment by wasting airtime, for daring to speak pleasantly to you ?
I really cannot understand, at all, why you feel he has an obligation to ask you specifically, while you have a right to keep it secret. It is you who are being unreasonable towards him. Tell him the truth at the next opportunity, and do so pleasantly, in the way I suggested

Reply to cybershrink

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