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Question
Posted by: Worryless | 2009-04-15

Things don' t worry me much

CS,

Im in my late 20s and I must say, I have a hectic life... I have a 8 to 5 job, 2 young kids, a very loving partner, I go to school after work (Further studies) 3 times a week and within all this, I try and go to the gym as well.

I have had good relationships with my girlfriends and manfriends.. and I always found that I was the one that was always calling to findout how they are doing, I always made plans to meet and chat to them and if they couldn' t meet then I would go and visit them at their places.. in short I was always the one trying to keep in touch with everyone... but then the last two years, I realised that my friends are just to busy to keep in touch with me, so I just suddenly started paying no attention to keeping in touch.. then they did not remember my birthdays, when I remembered theirs and then this year, I decided I was going to just let things be. As a result of this, I think that I have lost all the people that I thought were and used to call my friends....

But CS, what worries me now is that just last night my partner said to me... you seem not to have any friends anymore, and that I don' t even call my used to be best friend of 7 years any more... why do you not worry anymore??? And really, I don' t worry!

I am concerned, it is normal to just stop caring and worring about things that were once important, like close friends, going out... I am just not bothered about these things. I didn' t call my best friend on her birthday and when she phoned to ask why I hadn' t called her, I told her it' s because she does keep intouch too... we haven' t spoken since then... but till last night.... keeping out of touch and maybe evening loosing important friendships just does not bother me any more.

Is something wrong with me or is it just the growing up thing?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't you find that one's life moves through phases ? There are times when having and keeping in touch with friends are more important to you ; and times when career and life development takes precedence, and there genuinely isn't so much time for socializing with pals. And it's not a promisin relationship if you have to keep on putting all the effort into maintaining it. Not everyone remains a friend for life, and even those that are still friends of yours decades later, where often not constantly so. That's all --- all right.
Nopthing wrong with you. It's "the growing up thing", and, as Peter Pan discovered, that's not always easy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Vie | 2009-04-15

Worryless

I am not sure if anything is wrong with you as I think that I am sailing in the same boat as you are. I have given up in trying to make time for my friends and yet they dont do the same for me. Funny enough I find that I am enjoying being alone although there are times when i feel that things should go back to the way they used to be wrt going out with them and having fun. But you learn to have fun on your own, I have now made new friends with my husbands'  colleagues wives or his friends'  wives or galfriends - these dont really demand much - u enjoy when u enjoy and if you dont see each other for a while everybody does not mind

Reply to Vie
Posted by: MM | 2009-04-15

I dont think there is anything wrong with you. If only more people would think this way and stop fretting about the things that are just not important, because its exactly that, they are not important things! I am very much the same and i dont feel bad about it, you shouldnt either!

Reply to MM

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