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Question
Posted by: Ref | 2012/06/12

They runninng back to me

Im am 38 yr old single woman i am experiencing problems with men i was involved with back then.I have been involed with three men from where i have started doing this love things.so the 1st one left me with a baby girl who is now 15 and marry someone else and i found someone who did the same thing and i stayed for a two years without a man and in 2006 i met the 3rd one who stayed in my life for a year and vanished without a trace.

My problem is the 1st one is not happy in his marriage and whenever he fought with a woman he came rushing back to me for a shoulder to cry on forgetting what he did to me.I comfort and guide him where is due only nothing no love and sex activities.

the 2nd one seems to be happy but he is calling me everyday of his life telling me all the love stories that i dont want to hear and i tell him i wont entertain him

3rd one is going through a divorce and he is always in my place seeking advices and support and he says he wants to divorce and marry me and thats a bullshit to me i wont take that hell.so i dont know why they dont get over themselves a

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds as though, unfortunately, you kept making the same mistake of trusting these guys, and letting the same thing happen to you - don't let it happen again.
The first guy got you pregnant then dumped you and left you with a child ( you dotn't mention him paying maintenance, as he should have done ), and married someone else - now, why on earth should you care if his marriage isn't going well ? He continues to use you, for sympathy and maybe sex, but nothing he's done is about loving you. Tell him to leave you alone and to solve his own marriage porbl;ems with his wife and a marriage counsellor, and refuse to see him or speak to him again.
The second guy you say did the same thing ? But you are still allowing him to bother you with gossipping and bragging about his love life, and when you say "but I won't entertain him" it sounds as though he is also at least trying to have sex with you as well. Stop taking his calls.
The 3rd one is spinning that old story about a divorce and he needs your comfort and sympathy - nonsense. Agai8n, tell him to leave you alone and sort out his own problems.
Why don't you have any respect for yourself ? Its obvious these guys don't have any respect for you. THey are using you and you are allowing it.
So long as you continue to allow them to use you, they will.
Tell hem all to buzz off and threaten to get a restraining order from court to forbid them from contacting you in any way, or go to jail.
THen see a counsellor to work on your self-respect, and to set yourself free to have a genuine relationship with someone who respects you and doesn't just see you as a free source of sex and cuddles when they're feeling bad.

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1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/12

Sounds as though, unfortunately, you kept making the same mistake of trusting these guys, and letting the same thing happen to you - don't let it happen again.
The first guy got you pregnant then dumped you and left you with a child ( you dotn't mention him paying maintenance, as he should have done ), and married someone else - now, why on earth should you care if his marriage isn't going well ? He continues to use you, for sympathy and maybe sex, but nothing he's done is about loving you. Tell him to leave you alone and to solve his own marriage porbl;ems with his wife and a marriage counsellor, and refuse to see him or speak to him again.
The second guy you say did the same thing ? But you are still allowing him to bother you with gossipping and bragging about his love life, and when you say "but I won't entertain him" it sounds as though he is also at least trying to have sex with you as well. Stop taking his calls.
The 3rd one is spinning that old story about a divorce and he needs your comfort and sympathy - nonsense. Agai8n, tell him to leave you alone and sort out his own problems.
Why don't you have any respect for yourself ? Its obvious these guys don't have any respect for you. THey are using you and you are allowing it.
So long as you continue to allow them to use you, they will.
Tell hem all to buzz off and threaten to get a restraining order from court to forbid them from contacting you in any way, or go to jail.
THen see a counsellor to work on your self-respect, and to set yourself free to have a genuine relationship with someone who respects you and doesn't just see you as a free source of sex and cuddles when they're feeling bad.

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