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Question
Posted by: Liz | 2010/02/02

therapy terminated

Further to my e-mail re countertransference - 30/1/10.
I have confronted him and he he has denied having any feelings - he feels there has been a "  misunderstanding"  . He denied everything but then again in the same breath said he could not be declarative about his feelings even now.

I took an overdose and the relationship has now been terminated. he is a well known psychiatrist. I am now questioning my sanity - I am definitely not delusional (thanks to the confirmation of the new psychiatrist) but perhaps I have projected all of this although I quoted his comments and reaction verbatim to you. Help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

These are some of the things that lead me to conclude that psychonalyticaly oriented therapy is bogus, and gives the therapists too many excuses for failing and blaming the patient.
Freud recommended we should sit behind the couch out of sight of the patient - because he didn't like to be looked at, though he invented laborate excuses for this procedure. Jung did the opposite and said we should sit in plain view - because oherwise he tended to fall asleep during sessions.
He sounds evasive, and maybe not being honest with himself. Of course I have no idea who you are talking about, but I know several "well known psychiatrists" who I have no respect for, and wouldn't allow to treat by budgie.
I am relieved to hear you now have a new psychiatrist, though sad you had a rather risky way of getting there.
I see no reason whatever to question your sanity, nor to imagine you to be delusional. Now that I hope you are in the hands of a psychiatrist using methods actually supported by good science and working within the 21st Century and not the 19th, you should be able to do much better
Remember that transference is about how many of us ract to that sort of power imbalanced situation, and nomatter how much it feels otherwise, it's no actually about the therapist ( unless the handle it really badly ) And as Liza's comments remind me, many docs unfortunately, without realizing it, over-sedate patients to avoid facing such issues or even the normal emotionality of their patients.
Its cheating, really - you take the tranquillizer, and they get the tranquillity !
Sounds like he handled this really badly, especially as from the sound of things this sort of therapy is his bread and butter ( or his ciabatta an creme fraiche ). An informal e-mail relationship is not usually a helpful part of psychotherapy, except in very particular circumstances.
He is likely to have denied everything because ( a) he was to some degree in denial, (b) he didn' know how to handle your understandable anger or the possibility of counter-transference, and (c) maybe he wasn't anywhere near as well-trained and clever as he liked to think he was. In such situations, playing Blame the Patient, and "convince her she's nuts and I'm fine" is a common response


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Our users say:
Posted by: Liz | 2010/02/02

Problem is I was in therapy with him for almost 4 years and as a result the relationship was extremely close, this over and above the informal e-mail relationship we shared. The traumatic affeft that this has had on my self belief, trust and perception of reality is unbelievable. Did I imagine/project all of this? I am supposedly a highly intelligent, high achieving competent individual who does not suffer from any personality disorder and have not had a delusional day in my life.

What do you think Cybershrink - why would he deny all this when I confronted him (very angrily)?

Reply to Liz
Posted by: Liz | 2010/02/02

Reply to Liz
Posted by: Liza | 2010/02/02

Good thing that the therapy has been terminated. Now you can have a much more productive relationship with your new shrink. For the first couple of sessions, I fancied my psychiatrist like crazy, but I didn' t admit as much. Now the whole physical attraction has disappeared as I knew it would eventually. Instead I like and respect him immensely because he has helped me through a lot of rough patches in the past year without trying to sedate me to death as psychiatrists have done to me in the past.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/02

These are some of the things that lead me to conclude that psychonalyticaly oriented therapy is bogus, and gives the therapists too many excuses for failing and blaming the patient.
Freud recommended we should sit behind the couch out of sight of the patient - because he didn't like to be looked at, though he invented laborate excuses for this procedure. Jung did the opposite and said we should sit in plain view - because oherwise he tended to fall asleep during sessions.
He sounds evasive, and maybe not being honest with himself. Of course I have no idea who you are talking about, but I know several "well known psychiatrists" who I have no respect for, and wouldn't allow to treat by budgie.
I am relieved to hear you now have a new psychiatrist, though sad you had a rather risky way of getting there.
I see no reason whatever to question your sanity, nor to imagine you to be delusional. Now that I hope you are in the hands of a psychiatrist using methods actually supported by good science and working within the 21st Century and not the 19th, you should be able to do much better
Remember that transference is about how many of us ract to that sort of power imbalanced situation, and nomatter how much it feels otherwise, it's no actually about the therapist ( unless the handle it really badly ) And as Liza's comments remind me, many docs unfortunately, without realizing it, over-sedate patients to avoid facing such issues or even the normal emotionality of their patients.
Its cheating, really - you take the tranquillizer, and they get the tranquillity !
Sounds like he handled this really badly, especially as from the sound of things this sort of therapy is his bread and butter ( or his ciabatta an creme fraiche ). An informal e-mail relationship is not usually a helpful part of psychotherapy, except in very particular circumstances.
He is likely to have denied everything because ( a) he was to some degree in denial, (b) he didn' know how to handle your understandable anger or the possibility of counter-transference, and (c) maybe he wasn't anywhere near as well-trained and clever as he liked to think he was. In such situations, playing Blame the Patient, and "convince her she's nuts and I'm fine" is a common response


Reply to cybershrink

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