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Question
Posted by: suz | 2010/04/27

the other woman

met the most perfect man, love of my life 9 mont
hs ago, he is married, had an affair and he moved out of the house. Never told her about me or that he wanted to get divorced, always still deciding. He changed, drank way too much and became argumentative and demeaning. Wanted 3 and 4somes, which I did not, became obsessed with it angry that I did not approve of him joining swinger siter. To keep him happy, I agreed to a 4some (pathetic, I know) but I ran out of there, could not do it. He was very angry, shook me by the arms, still have bruises. He was completely obsessed with having sex with / alongside others. Even, and this is BAD, wanted my dog to lick my private parts! Then he sent me an smr to say he is going back to his wife, not even a phone call. As I read this, I realise he has a problem, and I am glad to get out. What I want to know is what is the matter with him, and with me, seeing as I can''t stop crying or thinking about our lost dreams?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So, the "love o your life" is a married man who cheated on his wife, and lied to her, and then moved out on her ? He's a problem drinker and abusive, he expects you to engage in group sex against your own wishes and interests, has nasty sexual obsessions, including dabbling in bestiality, and then dumped you without watning or explanation ?
Sounds loveable indeed !
Stop crying and recognize how lucky you are to be rid of such a rat - the "dreams" you lost were entirely fantasy on your part and could never have been realized with him, and were never shared by him. Let go of the fantasies of what could never have been, celebrate freedom from him, and look for a real decent guy who would actually care about you.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: ex hubby | 2010/04/28

My ex also became the other women, to this wonderful guy who was going to give her everything, 2 families were ripped apart and hurt ( at the time I was told shit happens so get on with your life), and because he was one of the top guys in the company earning a huge package it was all worth it, these days money and lifestyle is more important. Now during the week while she is home with our son he is out and about with women half his age and she is clueless thinking all is well.
We all live fairly close by and I have often seen him with his 25 year olds all over him, he''s 50/51. She''s in for a big wake up call.
I can''t have any sympathy for those having affairs man or women. You loose them the same way you find them. My advice to you try finding someone who is single and leave married people alone.

Reply to ex hubby
Posted by: Anonymous | 2010/04/28

He is a disgusting person... move on. Contact his wife and let her know what hes up to... she deserves at least this from you.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Tia | 2010/04/28

Hope this is a valuable lesson to u and woman who go out with married men. Its woman like you that cause havoc in other woman''s lives.
LEARN TO RESPECT YOURSELF, WHEN U SHOW U ARE CHEAP YOU GET TREATED THAT WAY!!!

Reply to Tia
Posted by: Kristen | 2010/04/28

That''s Karma for you, but the way I look at it you got off very easily - imagine the poor wife and what she has to put up with - such a Doggie Dog (no pun intended). You should be happy, really, stop crying. Walk away and find someone who will treat you with dignity and respect.
Good Luck.

Reply to Kristen
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/27

So, the "love o your life" is a married man who cheated on his wife, and lied to her, and then moved out on her ? He's a problem drinker and abusive, he expects you to engage in group sex against your own wishes and interests, has nasty sexual obsessions, including dabbling in bestiality, and then dumped you without watning or explanation ?
Sounds loveable indeed !
Stop crying and recognize how lucky you are to be rid of such a rat - the "dreams" you lost were entirely fantasy on your part and could never have been realized with him, and were never shared by him. Let go of the fantasies of what could never have been, celebrate freedom from him, and look for a real decent guy who would actually care about you.

Reply to cybershrink

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