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Question
Posted by: anon for this one | 2011/06/27

the ex

How do I handle this: the inlaws all of a sudden being over friendly with the ex (its been 15years). Never even heard her name being uttered before now all of a sudden she is the next best thing. Now I know they never liked me (not that they have a reason) but this is really low…  and its obvious she''''s loving all this attention and taking full advantage. Now she gets invited to functions etc how do I handle this hubby says he does not want to get involved and that I shouldn’  t be bothered. BTW she is single.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Interesting to see what other readers may suggest, from their experience. Sounds odd. Her significance in this situation stems from her being his Ex, so he can't NOT be involved. And he must be involved in finding a solution, not adding to the problem. He needs to talk with his parents and find out why this is happening, and make sure they understand that this bothers him and very much bothers you, and is rude and inconsiderate.
If she is still single after 15 years, either she's obviously undesirable or not interested in relationships. It would be fair and appropriate if you and your husband simply told his parents, if they refuse to wstop creating this problem, that neither of you will be attending functions she attends

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/06/27

IN laws can be so cruel. They must know that it is annoying for you and enjoy inflicting this on you.

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/27

Ok I got it.
Yes, that is bloody annoying.... It IS YOUR HUSBAND after all...
Speak to your in-laws and find out what is going on, if they do not want to co-operate | suggest you make a new rule in YOUR house and that is that no-one may discuss the ex in YOUR house.
YOU and YOUR HUNBAND will also NOT attend any functions arranged by the in-laws, if the ex will be invited too.
You lead seperate ives from the ex and if they (the in-laws) wat to be part of her life as well as you and YOUR HUSBAND''s, they will have todeal with the fact that they will have to separate their " " Interests" " .
Look, you do not need to upset hubby or involve him. Simply LAY DOWN THE LAW ....nicely and clearly.
Good luck..I have a mother in law like that.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: anon for this one | 2011/06/27

No - my husbands ex.

Reply to anon for this one
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/27

Sorry I do not understand.... Theinlaws are all over the ex? The inlaws being your ex wife''s parents are all over your ex, being her daughter?

If I am understanding this correctly, yes, they should be " all over"  their daughter.

Another thing " it has been 15 years" ? Have you been divorced for 15 years? If so, what are you still doing, hanging round?

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/27

Interesting to see what other readers may suggest, from their experience. Sounds odd. Her significance in this situation stems from her being his Ex, so he can't NOT be involved. And he must be involved in finding a solution, not adding to the problem. He needs to talk with his parents and find out why this is happening, and make sure they understand that this bothers him and very much bothers you, and is rude and inconsiderate.
If she is still single after 15 years, either she's obviously undesirable or not interested in relationships. It would be fair and appropriate if you and your husband simply told his parents, if they refuse to wstop creating this problem, that neither of you will be attending functions she attends

Reply to cybershrink

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