Our expert says:
You can and should go to the maintenance court and have the court decide how much much maintenance he should pay, and can compel him to do so should he later again lose interest in his responsibilities to you and the child.
he is not alowed to make his payment of maintenance ( which is his legal responsibility to the child ) to be influenced by whether he has access to her, or whether you provide him with sex on demand.
He sounds immature, selfish and indeed cowardly.
It's sad that good children so often love rather worthless people like him.
But stop painting him as an angel - he's far from that. Theres a significant difference between avoiding bad-mouthing him and sharing your understandable bitterness with the child, and lying to her about how good he is, when he isn't.
Let her recognize his selfishness, as there's a rsk she may in time blame herself for his absences, rather than reconize that's the sort of guy he is. She will eventually see through him, and it'll be more valuable for you to be available and credible then, rather than her worrying that you for some mysterious reason canot see his faults, and wouldn't understand her concerns.
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