Posted by: Candice | 2013-01-22

The Bully Buss

Just some advice please Cybershrink:

When the boss says " Look at Me" , " Now look at those docs, I want you to think about what you are doing"  - when I have been doing the job for nearly 10 years, am well into my 40''s...

Would an appropriate response to the looking at me be " No thanks, I''d prefer not to"  or just plain and simple do not talk down to me please?

I tried the do not talk down to me please and it was met with disbelief, wow, never could the little creature ever do that!

On the subject of looking for a new job: Our society is so false and it is just more lies as we go along. You are forced to come up with some feasible story why you are leaving. For Heavens Sake people leave because they are unhappy, loathe their boss, need more money, hate the environment and are unhappy.

Why do we have to say I am looking for new challenges, I will it is time to move on and use my skills more....

I wonder if I would get the job if I said " I wish to leave because I am good at what I do, I loathe person that I work for, personally I think they are Bi-Polar but not on meds and you are the only company that can match my salary. I am here to meet you for an hour and then we must both make a decision akin to marriage within a short space of time. It sucks. But here I am willing to give it a bash" .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe obne asks :" Looking at you, what do you want me to see or notice ? " And yes, its unrealistic if understandable, for companies to ask why you are leaving your previous job. I wonder what they think are excellent reasons for doing so ? "My current job is marvellous, but I'd heard so many magnificant things about the joy of working here, I'd like to improve on what's already marvellous ? " ?
And your illustration is good - job interviews are like Speed Dating, and actually no more realistic.
Maybe the wisest course is as Purple suggests, to be politely frank and honest - if they don't respect that, maybe you wouldn't be much happier working there, either ? She's also right about emphasizing that you feel unhappy without explicitly listing all your current boss's failings.
And, as Anon suggests, emphasize the positive, about what you believe you can bring for their benefit

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2013-01-22

Going for an interview is kind of your shot to show a prospective employer what you are like and bad mouthing your previous/current employer wouldn''t really leave them with a good first impression. Keep in mind that they don''t know what your current work enviroment is like, so you will likely just come off as being whiney and hard to work with.
Rather leave the nasties behind you and focus on being postive when you go for an interview, no point in dragging it with you.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Purple | 2013-01-22

If you said you were leaving because of a bullying situation, a decent potential employer wouldn''t hold that against you. I''ve done this before.

the " new challenges"  people are spotted for making up stories. Recruitment people don''t actually want to hear this nonsense. (I work in HR).

What doesn''t work is to say nasty things about your employer and bad mouth them - often that just makes you appear to be the problem and unable to deal with normal workplace challenges.

Reply to Purple

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