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Posted by: Tanilani | 2009/11/12

Thanks CS

Thanks CS. The Inspector investigating is also going to get statements from the police officers who were there as to why they did not follow procedure. To be honest he threatened to commit suicide if I don' t withdraw the case, all I said was that it would be fine because then at least the bond will be paid off........... You are quite right when you say intellectually I am hard, it is just the fact that he is my daughter' s father that makes me feel bad because she totally adores him. She is not blind for his faults though, because when I talked to her and told her she must never think the divorce is her fault, she told me she knows, because she knows her daddy' s drinking is the cause of the problems, and she now feels safe that he is no longer in the house!! In retrospect I should have taken these steps earlier, because I always endured a little bit more for her sake, but now I' ve realised it was actually more traumatic for her!!! You don' t have to answer, I think you just confirmed my realistic thoughts.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Good. They ought to follow procedure properly, and not take sides in a dispute. And don't accept blackmail like the threat of suicide ( or attempting suicide ) - if he chooses to do that, he will need to be hospitalized and treated appropriately, but it is wrong for him to try to put that responsibility on your shoulders and off of his. It sounds as though you have a really wise and sensible daughter - congratulations.

It is fine that your daughter loves her father ; and in time a suitable custody plan can be worked out and decided through the court, so she can scontinue to see him in safe circumstances.
Good luck to you and her

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/12

Good. They ought to follow procedure properly, and not take sides in a dispute. And don't accept blackmail like the threat of suicide ( or attempting suicide ) - if he chooses to do that, he will need to be hospitalized and treated appropriately, but it is wrong for him to try to put that responsibility on your shoulders and off of his. It sounds as though you have a really wise and sensible daughter - congratulations.

It is fine that your daughter loves her father ; and in time a suitable custody plan can be worked out and decided through the court, so she can scontinue to see him in safe circumstances.
Good luck to you and her

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