Posted by: EG | 2009-03-18


Thank you, CS, for your comprehensive reply to my query about hoarding. I must admit that I never considered going through stuff with my dad to share memories and learn about his life. I have always just thought of it as a huge problem. He has, in the past, given me amazing " treasures"  (like an autographed and " cartooned"  copy of Viktor Frankl' s Man' s Search For Meaning) from the depths of his cove, so I guess there must be others amidst the junk!
I will try the " nostalgia"  approach and see how far we get.
Sorry you have regrets about you mom. I will learn from your experience.

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Our expert says:
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Thanks, EG. Regrets are inevitable when you lose someone you love --- however much you did for them and with them, you can always think of more you could have done, and easily see that as "should" have done. Part of grief work is to value what you DID do, and celebrate what was, rather than rue what wasn't.
I look forward to hearing what other treasures you discover together ! And we have more in common that either of us expected --- the Viktor Frankl connection ! I knew Viktor, and we met several times, and in my office I have a portrait of me he sketched on a table napkin when we were dining together in Montreal.

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