Our expert says:
Yur concept o "separate lives lived together" is a brilliant description of this type of situation. It sounds as though you both actually do care about each other, but are communicating very inefficiently in a manner that worsens rather than solves problems, and thus which could be much helped by counselling.
As for tonight's conversation ( which should be seen as the start of a useful process, not the end of it ) work together to identify ( without seeking to apportion blame ) the issues and problems that trouble either of both of you --- aeas which could enjoyably be improved. Identify which you can see solutions for together, and where a professional counsellor could help make this process more efficient.
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