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Question
Posted by: Purple | 2011-01-28

Thank you

Hi CS,

Thanks as always for your advice. You are absoloutely spot on.
Firstly, my mom does have an inferiority complex about never having completed high school and all four of us now have degrees or post graduate degrees (but that is thanks to my mom and my dad paying for them and our accommodation and making it possible - and genetically giving us the brain power and the upbringing to be able to cope with the rigours of tertiary education).
She also doesn''t work so is a little bit underoccupied, especially since there are no longer any children at home. She does have hobbies though.

I''m usually OK with smiling through unasked for advice and if its good I actually still take it to heart, but when you have had a baby and you are sleeping in 45 minute snatches and if you are lucky adding them up to get four hours during the night, and your hormones are going wild, you can''t think straight, though I can still spout uselss facts and figures and authors of research and publicaiton dates because those kinds of things just seem to stick in my head, so its a recipe for disaster to have my mother sharing her old wives tales and out of date knowledge when I''ve just had a baby.

I''ve decided now that I''m just going to carry on phoning my mom for our usual chats and carrying on like nothing has happened until she either thaws out or opens discussion.
If she does open discussion I will gently repeat my request that she only come when my baby is a few weeks old and give the same reasoning - that we need time to adjust and get used to it, and would rather that she be there at a time when she can also relax and just enjoy being a granny.

I feel much better now with all that off my chest.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Remember my old Scottish pal in London, a Jungian therapist ( NOT a method I consider validated as effective by ANY research ) But I believe his main success lay in his incredible talent for responing to anything anyone said with : "Really?" in a thousand different inflections, always sounding apt without sounding repetitious.
Maybe, when talking with your mom, instead of making it a request that she NOT come earlier, make it clear you feel much better able to cope then, and emphasize a major NEED for her to come later.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-29

Remember my old Scottish pal in London, a Jungian therapist ( NOT a method I consider validated as effective by ANY research ) But I believe his main success lay in his incredible talent for responing to anything anyone said with : "Really?" in a thousand different inflections, always sounding apt without sounding repetitious.
Maybe, when talking with your mom, instead of making it a request that she NOT come earlier, make it clear you feel much better able to cope then, and emphasize a major NEED for her to come later.

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