advertisement
Question
Posted by: 1st time mama | 2010/10/06

terrible me

Hi there
I need help please.
I have NO sex drive at all - my 1st child is 13 months old and i am on the pill as well (YAZ) and on Zoloft for anxiety. But i am getting worried as i NEVER feel like having sex, i always think of some excuse not to.... I am scared that this will ruin my marriage.
Is there something i can drink to give me a boost - a serious boost?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There are a number of factors that could be contributing to your decrease in libido - tiredness due to disturbed nights and additional demands on you as a mother; if you are breastfeeding still then those hormones reduce desire;you are on two pharmaceutical agents which could impact negatively on your desire. There may also be other factors impacting, for example how has your relationship adjusted to the transition from couple to family, how much time you get for yourself and how good do you feel about yourself after pregnancy/birth, etc.

Unfortunately there are no medications on the market to boost female libido. The best you can do is speak to your medical practitioner and try to reduce the impact that the medications may have, then try to boost yourself physically/psychologically. If the relationship also needs to be boosted - any problems addressed, this needs to be done too. ONce you have optimised these factors, make time to focus on the relationship as lovers (not just parents) and do what you can to enhance your arousal (use lubricants if need be, take time over foreplay, give your husband plenty of positive feedback). Most importantly, keep him in the loop about how much you want to address this to improve things. Remember though, he needs to play his part too - this will make it easier for you if you see that he is not just sitting back and waiting for you to 'want him'.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Wako | 2010/10/06

It seems that u are quite willing to have sex, but the initiation is not there to put u in the right mood. Having a 13 mo old baby is hard work and does put a damper on anyboy''s sex life and the timing is forever wrong. Yr husband might be feeling the same &  is getting fed up with trying. Arrange a night out, but u have to leave baby with granny, FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT. Just having a sitter at home does not work.Then go for a romantic dinner ,dance, relax and do forget about baby or u will spoil the mood. After, go home, cuddle, be like u were when u first got married. U can even try and seduce him, it is also a great turn on for u both and better than any potion that may or may not boost your drive. Asking for help means you are thinking about it and the drive was never lost. It needs spice and time away from baby. You need this and it does not make u a bad mother. Enjoy.

Reply to Wako
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/10/06

There are a number of factors that could be contributing to your decrease in libido - tiredness due to disturbed nights and additional demands on you as a mother; if you are breastfeeding still then those hormones reduce desire;you are on two pharmaceutical agents which could impact negatively on your desire. There may also be other factors impacting, for example how has your relationship adjusted to the transition from couple to family, how much time you get for yourself and how good do you feel about yourself after pregnancy/birth, etc.

Unfortunately there are no medications on the market to boost female libido. The best you can do is speak to your medical practitioner and try to reduce the impact that the medications may have, then try to boost yourself physically/psychologically. If the relationship also needs to be boosted - any problems addressed, this needs to be done too. ONce you have optimised these factors, make time to focus on the relationship as lovers (not just parents) and do what you can to enhance your arousal (use lubricants if need be, take time over foreplay, give your husband plenty of positive feedback). Most importantly, keep him in the loop about how much you want to address this to improve things. Remember though, he needs to play his part too - this will make it easier for you if you see that he is not just sitting back and waiting for you to 'want him'.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement