Our expert says:
lets see what other readers have to say, here. I think your b was extremely selfish, and inconsiderate of both your feelings and the child's life, thinking solely of his own wishes and convenience. Not to even go with you was crummy behaviour - he could have missed a class or two for a reason like that.
There is no trace of love in how he responded to the situation he had actively helped to create.
Its curious that he behaved so badly when it was about a pregnancy he had caused ( with you ), and yet apparently better when you were recovering from ( apparently more physical than emotional ? ) abuse from someone else, and when you had a child by the other unworthy guy.
He has good reason to feel guilty about how he behaved in 2006, but at least it sounds as though he is making amends and behaving well this time.
But you won't be able to form a stable and happy relationship with him while you still feel so very negative about having sex with him. You really, really need to see a counsellor to work on all the issues this raises for you, and to work your way through them. I still say abortion should NEVER EVER be performed without proper counselling being compulsory.
You are far from insane, but need and deserve counselling. You have been unfortunate in your choice of men so far ; maybe now that he does seem reformed, he may be a worthy partner.
THe counsellor should also help you to learn to feel confident and good about yourself WITHOUT sex - not that I'm saying you should avoid sex, but you shouldn't get into situations when it becomes the basis of feeling good about yourself, as though it was the only thing of value for you or about you
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