Our expert says:
Maybe fixing the relationship between the sisters shouldn't be the first priority here?
By far the best safeguard against sex related problems is for parents to build an open and trusting relationship with their kids from an early age, in which such concerns and questions can be discussed.
It's easy to panic, but for instance, forbidding the girl to see the boy isn't helpful, and is likely to precipitate this sort of artificial crisis and floods of tears and threats.
What is needed is calm and respectful discussion, based on whatever understanding the girl may have and need, about the realities of sex, pregnancy, and responsibility.
She needs to know (not as a threat, but as information) that sex with an under-age girls could be considered statutory rape, for instance.
I can't think of any good reason to try to withhold the information from the father, who is surely likely to find out someonw, before long. The mother now needs also, then, to discus this calmly with him, handle his anger, and move him on to discussing what as responsible parents would be the best thing for both of them to do.
It sounds as though there are too many barriers of secrecy in this family aleady, "I know, but she told me not to tell you, and I won't tell him". Honesty and openness isn't always comfortable, but it enables everyone to know what they are dealing with, and to try to plan a reasoned way of dealing with problems, rather than a sries of emotional explosions
She needs to speak calmly and frankly with her dauhter about life, love, and sex, and the high risk in teenage years of falling madly in love with the idea of being in love, even if the apparent target isn't at all worth all the fuss.
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