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Question
Posted by: Terry | 2011/06/27

Teenager hiding food

Teenager daughter does not eat her school lunch but keeps it hidden in her room. When discovered, she does not know why she keeps the food even though it goes off and leaves an unpleasant smell in her room.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sesible response, as ever, from Maria. Have long calm chats with her about this and that ( something of benefit to all parents and kids ) and explore what the school lunches mean to her - what makes her feel it'd be a problem to take them to school, and whether this can be helped. Presumably you drive her personally to school, so she can't take the lunches with her and discard them en route. Sometimes its that the cool kids don't bring any sort of lunch from home ; sometimes there's a Thing about not having cheese sandwiches, or whatever, and the content can be experienced as terribly shaming, when as adults we can't see how there could be such a problem. explore, learn

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Our users say:
Posted by: Disciplined | 2011/06/27

Do your kids take tuck money on a daily basis? Or do they have a friend at school who has too much to spend and dishes out sweets and snacks on a daily basis. Both present problems. I had the same trouble, so I decided they could make their own lunch or not, but I provided a good healthy breakfast. I just could not handle the waste or being taken advantage of by making lunches, just to be wasted by spoiled brats !!

Reply to Disciplined
Posted by: Dionne H | 2011/06/27

My daugther (14 years) also left her lunch at home for a while - luckily not in her room!). Apparently they become very aware of what is fattening at that age, so try find out what exactly she would prefer for lunch in order to actually take it to school. I must say that it goes much better now that her dad is living with us again ( not sure if that may be a factor here...), so for them it seems be very complex. Would love to hear if your daughter had the same issue as mine.

Reply to Dionne H
Posted by: Regular Reader | 2011/06/27

So true Maria, Mine do the same. When confronted they dont " want"  to take lunch to school. Now what do they do? They hide it or make as if they forgot it at home etc. So I just make sure that they have a good b/fast and if they get hungry during school hours.... not my problem! It sound very ''harsh'' but why make lunchboxes if they not going to take it to school to eat.? Now if they want lunch for school they can make and pack it themselves. (BTW they are not small tod''s anymore 17 and 15 yrs). No smelly room''s and c/boards anymore of lunchboxes " forgotten / hidden"  ...

Reply to Regular Reader
Posted by: Maria | 2011/06/27

Maybe it''s not " cool"  to take lunch to school? What do the other kids in her school do? While it''s ideal for them to eat through the day your best bet might be to just make sure she has a good breakfast, and then she can eat when she gets home from school.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/27

Sesible response, as ever, from Maria. Have long calm chats with her about this and that ( something of benefit to all parents and kids ) and explore what the school lunches mean to her - what makes her feel it'd be a problem to take them to school, and whether this can be helped. Presumably you drive her personally to school, so she can't take the lunches with her and discard them en route. Sometimes its that the cool kids don't bring any sort of lunch from home ; sometimes there's a Thing about not having cheese sandwiches, or whatever, and the content can be experienced as terribly shaming, when as adults we can't see how there could be such a problem. explore, learn

Reply to cybershrink

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